If you are like me and monitor the Carnival message boards you see all these females in a frenzy trying to decide who they going to jump with. There are 3 types of female masqueraders and 2 types of male masqueraders. On the female side there are the Carnival Whore, Flip-flop Wajang and Confused Virgin. As far as the fellas are concerned, there are 2 categories. Bamsee Hauler and Rum Chaser.
D Carnival Whore started off playing Kiddies Carnival and hasn’t stopped yet. She mudder, grandmudder and greatgrand-mudder passed the standard to her. She is faithful to one band and will planasse yuh if yuh dare badtalk she band. She have playing mas down to a science and you can learn a lot from this woman. There is also a very high probability that this masquerader will fall into the “2 band hoe” category discussed earlier. Nothing will stop this particular woman from making mas year after year. 9 months pregnant? no scene, House burn down and all belongings lost? no problem.. Husband threaten to leave if she go one more carnival??? Fukk him… A real Carnival Whore is relentless and tenacious. I would rather hand feed a rabid pit bull than get in the way of this womans mas.
The Flip-flop Wajang usually bounces between 3 bands from band launch till jump up day, she has no strong affiliations and will horn yuh d same way in real life. She going where the costumes are on “fyah”. She will also bounce from section to section until time escapes her. This woman is pretty easy to spot. She will buy a costume with the first band that launch because that’s where all her friends are going. Next band launch, she immediately falls in love with the overall presentation and das where she wants to be. At which time, she will reserve a costume and declare herself 2band hoe. No scene, I will play wit band A on Monday and Band B on Tuesday. 8 more band launches later, a friend offer a free costume in their band. Now, the real confusion begins. Friends? Fantabulous Presentation? Finance……what to do…. what to do?
The Confused Virgin never play mas yet. She looking for advice on which band to play wit, what she should wear Carnival Monday, boots or sneakers, type of make-up, thongs or panty…..the list is endless.. D Virgin can be easily chained up to play wit any band because she eh kno better. After she first experience playing a mas, d virgin will swear there is no better than that band. She will probably get hooked and eventually become a whore to that band. Classic case where she will then be used, abused and refused by that band year after year.
In the male category of Bamsee Hauler, it is self explanatory. This fella is only concerned with playing in a band where there is an abundance of big bamsee which will overwhelm him to the point of ecstasy. He is a bamsee assault specialist and Carnival Monday and Tuesday in d right band is like his first Christmas day all over again. He has no affiliations or loyalty unless a particular band has a reputation of providing big bamsees. They will spend countless hours on the computer, perusing galleries evaluating the quality of bamcee in ah particular band. This can be misleading b/c experience has proven that Band photographers tend to miss 95% of the band and primarily take pictures of the hot women. Not that anyone complains but ah fella will join the rumchaser to distort their vision at which time, 95% of the women will appeal to their desires..
The Rum Chaser like to wine on woman, but his priority is focused on the ever elusive task of busing d bar by he self. He is a professional drinker and takes his job seriously. Drinking is a science to him also and have a few golden rules that he always follows when picking a band. Actually is juss 1 rule, check d website to see who d alcohol sponsors are. It must be noted that this fella will not be found laying on d ground like a common rummy, he will start and finish d race at d same pace each and every year.
Bartenders should be weary of this fella. He is looking to steal full bottles of Johnny Walker from off deh truck. One way to notice if this fella is successful in his petty larceny, he will mek requests that are non alcoholic in nature. Cups of ice, coconut water, red bull…etc. Follow this man because he has a bottle someplace and it beats fighting wit the other masqueraders fuh your refill.