Picking A Band and Section to Play Mas

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If you are like me and monitor the Carnival message boards you see all these females in a frenzy trying to decide who they going to jump with.   There are 3 types of female masqueraders and 2 types of male masqueraders.   On the female side there are the Carnival Whore, Flip-flop Wajang and Confused Virgin.   As far as the fellas are concerned, there are 2 categories.   Bamsee Hauler and Rum Chaser.  

D Carnival Whore started off playing Kiddies Carnival and hasn’t stopped yet.    She mudder, grandmudder and greatgrand-mudder passed the standard to her.   She is faithful to one band and will planasse yuh if yuh dare badtalk she band.  She have playing mas down to a science and you can learn a lot from this woman.  There is also a very high probability that this masquerader will fall into the “2 band hoe” category discussed earlier. Nothing will stop this particular woman from making mas year after year. 9 months pregnant? no scene, House burn down and all belongings lost? no problem.. Husband threaten to leave if she go one more carnival???  Fukk him… A real Carnival Whore is relentless and tenacious.  I would rather hand feed a rabid pit bull than get in the way of this womans mas.

  

The Flip-flop Wajang usually bounces between 3 bands from band launch till jump up day, she has no strong affiliations and will horn yuh d same way in real life.   She going where the costumes are on “fyah”.  She will also bounce from section to section until time escapes her.  This woman is pretty easy to spot.  She will buy a costume with the first band that launch because that’s where all her friends are going.  Next band launch, she immediately falls in love with the overall presentation and das where she wants to be.  At which time, she will reserve a costume and declare herself 2band hoe.  No scene, I will play wit band A on Monday and Band B on Tuesday. 8 more band launches later, a friend offer a free costume in their band.  Now, the real confusion begins.   Friends?  Fantabulous Presentation?   Finance……what to do…. what to do?

  

The Confused Virgin never play mas yet.   She looking for advice on which band to play wit, what she should wear Carnival Monday, boots or sneakers, type of make-up, thongs or panty…..the list is endless..   D Virgin can be easily chained up to play wit any band because she eh kno better.   After she first experience playing a mas, d virgin will swear there is no better than that band.    She will probably get hooked and eventually become a whore to that band.  Classic case where she will then be used, abused and refused by that band year after year.

In the male category of Bamsee Hauler, it is self explanatory.   This fella is only concerned with playing in a band where there is an abundance of big bamsee which will overwhelm him to the point of ecstasy.   He is a bamsee assault specialist and Carnival Monday and Tuesday in d right band is like his first Christmas day all over again.  He has no affiliations or loyalty unless a particular band has a reputation of providing big bamsees. They will spend countless hours on the computer, perusing galleries evaluating the quality of bamcee in ah particular band. This can be misleading b/c experience has proven that Band photographers tend to miss 95% of the band and primarily take pictures of the hot women. Not that anyone complains but ah fella will join the rumchaser to distort their vision at which time, 95% of the women will appeal to their desires..  

The Rum Chaser like to wine on woman, but his priority is focused on the ever elusive task of busing d bar by he self.    He is a professional drinker and takes his job seriously.   Drinking is a science to him also and have a few golden rules that he always follows when picking a band.   Actually is juss 1 rule, check d website to see who d alcohol sponsors are.  It must be noted that this fella will not be found laying on d ground like a common rummy, he will start and finish d race at d same pace each and every year.

Bartenders should be weary of this fella. He is looking to steal full bottles of Johnny Walker from off deh truck.  One way to notice if this fella is successful in his petty larceny, he will mek requests that are non alcoholic in nature.  Cups of ice, coconut water, red bull…etc.  Follow this man because he has a bottle someplace and it beats fighting wit the other masqueraders fuh your refill.

Wining Kriminals Released

 

 

[odeo=http://odeo.com/audio/17195403/view]

 

 

Wining Kriminals Released

Better late than never.  We are a skylarking crew of Carnival lovers who decided to bless the world with our views of Carnival and also our visions on how Carnival should be.  In Carnival there is the good, the bad and the ugly, and our goals are to explore these different but necessary components which make Carnival the “Greatest Show on Earth”. 

Currently the Wining Kriminals comprises of four very articulate and well rounded individuals.  Canboulay, Midnight Robber, Sweet Ting and Loud4Spite.  We have no affiliations and are loyal to one.  We are here to say what feel as we see it.  If anyone is offended by our Blog, we are not sorry.  Feel free to express yourselves as we do on here, but don’t dish out what you cannot take back in return.   We are all lifelong learners with open minds, hopefully our readers will learn from us, as we will learn from them.

 

Introduction

 

 

Canboulay aka Cannes Brulles, which means “burning cane”.  This commemorated the putting-out of cane fires during slavery. After slavery it became one of the important and deep-rooted festivals of the black people and was marked by ribald dancing and the lighted flambeaus carried in the street.
The police always opposed this with vigor, claiming that the lighted flambeaus could burn down the town.

The people, who always regarded the police as oppressors, resisted and resisted bitterly .During the period that Canboulay was observed on August 1, the anniversary of the Abolition of Slavery, it was easy to suppress the cult, but when this was crushed and the people started Carnival time, it became almost impossible to quell it, because the masses claimed the right to celebrate Carnival as they thought fit.

My character, Canboulay is here to start the burning of the flambeaus again, and to resist certain aspects of this Capitalistic celebration which Carnival has evolved into.  I will bring the fire and will not be suppressed by the masses of brainwashed jumbies.  It is imperative that we stand for something or fall for everything.

Sweet Ting is the “lady” of our crew and her name describes the essence of her being.  She is sweet like a ripe Julie Mango.  At the same time if yuh cross Sweet Ting d wrong way she go bite yuh up like a bunch ah Jep who nest yuh decide to shake wit a broomstick.  The lady of our crew is like the cool little sister yuh never had, but always wanted.  The assets that Sweet Ting brings are invaluable to the Wining Kriminals viewers.  Imagine a woman dat both sexes can understand, by giving a unique and rare insight on the male and female psyche.

  Her experiences and knowledge are that of a well seasoned masquerader and feter.  Her opinions are well balanced and unbiased.  She is not a bachannalist but does not shy away from confrontation.  Her objectivity if looked at with an open mind by readers of this Blog.

Midnight Robber is traditionally described as a one thousand-year old fearsome braggart.
The Midnight Robber is the bad-guy hero of any adventure. He wears an imposing wide brimmed hat and a long cape, both decorated with morbid images that are often testimonies of those he have plundered and murdered. He threatens to put you on his list if you cannot prove that you are more notorious than he is. He is the personification of anything, animate, inanimate or abstract, that carries uncontrollably destructive qualities. In this way, political and social commentary is easy to include in a Robber speech. 

The tyranny of The Robber is based on revenge he is seeking for his African ancestors who were forced to become slaves, “My great-grandfather’s treasures were stolen, his life was taken and it was then that I became a Midnight Robber.”  The style of the Robber is to approach people on the street and scare them almost to death with one of his bloodstained speeches, the result being – the pedestrian gives him money to spare his life.  Within the speeches are very long gory words, some of which are made up, but nevertheless, create the desired gory effect.

The Wining Kriminals Midnight Robber is just as deadly as the traditional character, but his virility lies within his lyrics.  His articulations and suave personality is one which he utilizes to “tief a wine” not money.  His persuasive methods are well tested and many can attest to falling victim to this bandit.  Readers of the Midnight Robber’s entries will always get a very candid image of his topics of discussion.   Readers should not fear reprisals for responding, but be prepared give a strong account of your answers.

Loud4Spite Bio Coming Soon.