A Horn is a Horn….only when you take it on…

8 01 2010

So fellas it’s been a while…well ah reach back just in time to make sure allyuh knowing how to play yuh position for de carnival season. I know plenty of allyuh talk a good game and all but when it all boils down to it, it’s really just talk. I know of some fellas dat does like to play a little game carnival time called “Ah vex!”. They does suddenly get vex for some unexplained reason and look to make argument with they woman or suddenly do some kinda silent treatment. The goal here is to have yuh woman wondering what wrong…maybe she do something wrong…maybe you find out something. This time yuh eh know shit and eh vex about nothing. You just looking to cause just enough confusion fuh allyuh to be separate fuh carnival time. Allyuh feel yuh rhell bright eh? But when yuh hear de shout Carnival Tuesday reach, yuh woman wining down de road wit a drink in one hand and she bottom rolling on a man. Oh! Wait! How dat happen?Eh heh! Yuh feel only you could be vex right? She should be home wondering wha wrong with you right? WRONG!!!!! Let me tell you like this. If you decide that you rather go see what is out on de road carnival time instead of what yuh done have…doh be surprise when yuh woman bottom rolling up and down Frederick street. Nobody staying home to think about you carnival time. So it’s best you make yuh decision ahead of time and stick with it. Here is my top 5 list of DON’Ts.

DO NOT:

  1. DO NOT go pulling no man off yuh woman if she is willingly wining on him. Is she waist and she have all rights to fling it where she want.
  2. DO NOT try and watch she cut eye like she doing something wrong. Ent is you dat didn’t want she latched on to you carnival time? Well…yuh get yuh wish!
  3. DO NOT decide now that yuh want yuh partner to go down de road with. NAH! Stick to yuh damn plan. After carnival yuh could decide if you want to reconcile. Carnival Monday and Tuesday is no time for couples therapy on de road.
  4. DO NOT begin to follow she by a few feet and cut yuh eye at every man that approaches her. Stop yuh shit. Move to a next section and find somebody else to entertain yuh. It’s like allyuh does only see de 45 to 1 ratio when yuh woman home sewing up yuh holey draws. As she reach out in de road in panty and beads and not with you suddenly is like she alone in de band.
  5. DO NOT make a fackin scene in de band! Do not do it! Somebody will be there with camera on hand and will catch you being an ass right on camera and dat shit will be all over youtube, facebook, and wherever else could post before yuh could wash de carnival sweat from under yuh left nut. Please go peacefully…pat yuh back about yuh great idea and wonderful plan and go like yuh fackin self. It is carnival time and she done having a time…no need to spoil your own.

This is Sweet Ting signing off…please remember…a horn could only be a horn if yuh take it on. Bless.

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Wining Kriminals Released

25 10 2007

 

 

[odeo=http://odeo.com/audio/17195403/view]

 

 

Wining Kriminals Released

Better late than never.  We are a skylarking crew of Carnival lovers who decided to bless the world with our views of Carnival and also our visions on how Carnival should be.  In Carnival there is the good, the bad and the ugly, and our goals are to explore these different but necessary components which make Carnival the “Greatest Show on Earth”. 

Currently the Wining Kriminals comprises of four very articulate and well rounded individuals.  Canboulay, Midnight Robber, Sweet Ting and Loud4Spite.  We have no affiliations and are loyal to one.  We are here to say what feel as we see it.  If anyone is offended by our Blog, we are not sorry.  Feel free to express yourselves as we do on here, but don’t dish out what you cannot take back in return.   We are all lifelong learners with open minds, hopefully our readers will learn from us, as we will learn from them.

 

Introduction

 

 

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Canboulay aka Cannes Brulles, which means “burning cane”.  This commemorated the putting-out of cane fires during slavery. After slavery it became one of the important and deep-rooted festivals of the black people and was marked by ribald dancing and the lighted flambeaus carried in the street.
The police always opposed this with vigor, claiming that the lighted flambeaus could burn down the town.

The people, who always regarded the police as oppressors, resisted and resisted bitterly .During the period that Canboulay was observed on August 1, the anniversary of the Abolition of Slavery, it was easy to suppress the cult, but when this was crushed and the people started Carnival time, it became almost impossible to quell it, because the masses claimed the right to celebrate Carnival as they thought fit.

My character, Canboulay is here to start the burning of the flambeaus again, and to resist certain aspects of this Capitalistic celebration which Carnival has evolved into.  I will bring the fire and will not be suppressed by the masses of brainwashed jumbies.  It is imperative that we stand for something or fall for everything.

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Sweet Ting is the “lady” of our crew and her name describes the essence of her being.  She is sweet like a ripe Julie Mango.  At the same time if yuh cross Sweet Ting d wrong way she go bite yuh up like a bunch ah Jep who nest yuh decide to shake wit a broomstick.  The lady of our crew is like the cool little sister yuh never had, but always wanted.  The assets that Sweet Ting brings are invaluable to the Wining Kriminals viewers.  Imagine a woman dat both sexes can understand, by giving a unique and rare insight on the male and female psyche.

  Her experiences and knowledge are that of a well seasoned masquerader and feter.  Her opinions are well balanced and unbiased.  She is not a bachannalist but does not shy away from confrontation.  Her objectivity if looked at with an open mind by readers of this Blog.

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Midnight Robber is traditionally described as a one thousand-year old fearsome braggart.
The Midnight Robber is the bad-guy hero of any adventure. He wears an imposing wide brimmed hat and a long cape, both decorated with morbid images that are often testimonies of those he have plundered and murdered. He threatens to put you on his list if you cannot prove that you are more notorious than he is. He is the personification of anything, animate, inanimate or abstract, that carries uncontrollably destructive qualities. In this way, political and social commentary is easy to include in a Robber speech. 

The tyranny of The Robber is based on revenge he is seeking for his African ancestors who were forced to become slaves, “My great-grandfather’s treasures were stolen, his life was taken and it was then that I became a Midnight Robber.”  The style of the Robber is to approach people on the street and scare them almost to death with one of his bloodstained speeches, the result being – the pedestrian gives him money to spare his life.  Within the speeches are very long gory words, some of which are made up, but nevertheless, create the desired gory effect.

The Wining Kriminals Midnight Robber is just as deadly as the traditional character, but his virility lies within his lyrics.  His articulations and suave personality is one which he utilizes to “tief a wine” not money.  His persuasive methods are well tested and many can attest to falling victim to this bandit.  Readers of the Midnight Robber’s entries will always get a very candid image of his topics of discussion.   Readers should not fear reprisals for responding, but be prepared give a strong account of your answers.

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Loud4Spite Bio Coming Soon.