Cyah believe it’s Tribe Tribe Tribe Tribe…

15 03 2010

So yes allyuh I have returned to Tribe after a brief 2 year hiatus.  Making children does put a lil pause on things like mas and galavanting and drinkin…well…for some of us. Anyway, I was a little hesitant for a couple reasons. For one I have reluctantly tortured myself by viewing pictures and videos of Tribe during my missed years and the band seemed to have gotten monstrously large. Ah mean looking like a massive Poison mess! Where had my “no more than 3000 masqueraders” band gone? Surely that could not be them crossing that judging point camera for hours! Maybe the camera was just adding on weight to the band I convinced myself…surely that is not the Tribe I know! With that thought pushed to the back of my mind I proceeded preparing for registration.

Unlike allyuh men, I need a little more than an appropriate color board shorts and a wrist band. So, along with the rest of the fanatics I was poised for registration in July…my finger was on the mouse trigger ready to secure my costume that I had already chosen. Sad to say folks, as I logged on in those first moments of registration and it was reminiscent of 2004 when sections were sold out within SECONDS of the start of registration. So here we are with this so called TLC registration and my section of choice is sold out. I shook my head as I already knew of several people who had never even played with Tribe before, yet they were already registered and well comfortable in meh band. Big fat forkin steups. I have no problem with pre registration, and friends and family registration, and de registration of registration, but when yuh fillin up de band with a set of nevaseecomesees ahead of yuh loyal masqueraders I feel dat is shit! Anywho, as I believe in stickin to the evil that I know vs the unknown I went ahead and registered in one of my alternate sections. That and all was a next bachannal as the online payment system was not working. But if you know me you will know that something like a system glitch will not keep me away from my mas. I will not even get deep into all of that. There are places and people that getting deep into the nitty grity of every crevice of their experience. I sure allyuh bloggers familiar with them so I will spare you. I have meh mas secure…leh we fast forward what seemed like a million months as I waited….and waited….and waited…and waited…for carnival time to come.

So…the time reach, I reach Trinidad, and I organize to go retrieve meh mas. Up that forkin hill again to Cascadia we go, cash in hand. I went on a day that was not assigned to me so I expected a little wait. After we park and approach, we start to hear some soca…GREAT! There was a tent to get a number, a next tent where people were sitting and waiting to be called…a next tent where they were selling boots, little purses to match yuh mas, and handheld breathalyzers to help yuh predict how de breathalyzer traps would handle you. Good stuff! Stepped inside to the bar with my family and had a couple drinks…that was great. Ok…ummm…I still waiting. No scene…everything moving smoothly. Go inside, pay off balance, go to the next spot, pick up meh mas…check out the contents…NICE! Next step go get meh wrist band. The man asks me if this is my first year playing with Tribe. PAUSE! “uhmmmmm, thought we never got past TLC registration?” He smirk, then laugh, then mumble, then continue giving me directions. Steups…Was I laughing? Okay I was drinking…maybe I was…lol. Moving right along…lol. I have meh things…everything looked as pictured…I ready…gone now…wait…is that Anya Yeongchoungsuckprick? I thought she was an IPer…nah…cyah be she…leh we go allyuh….oh…we can’t go yet. We need Tribe Ignite TLC tickets…these tickets have been coming since Jesus was a little boy. Tell me why de ass I have to wait for TLC tickets…sell me de forkin tickets yuh have for de tlc price and let me go meh way nah!  I have done all kinda thing and the tickets ent reach yet. Steups. Have a next drink…that makes all things better! As I start to see the bottom of the drink the tickets reach…we get what we have to get and we gone. All’s well that ends well.

Carnival Monday, reach the band by the Savannah…hit the drinks truck on some side road…think they were waiting for me. Go meet the band…they are about to cross….oh fork…they really playing Palance? Grrrrrrrr I am already irritated with the brainwash push of this song. I do a half hearted Palance across the judging road area and eagerly await that song to turn off. I was very excited that they only played this song at judging points and not constantly on the road.  The crowd was manageable on Monday. I had no problem getting drinks. The first truck seemed to have the best music but the journey to the damn wee wee truck was a mission…especially when yuh get a next drink when yuh come out…before yuh make it to the front it’s time to go to the back again…what a pain in de ass!  I think we ended kinda early on Monday. Or it could be the carnival jumbie in me that didn’t want it to end! L Needless to say I had quite a bit of time to get a good night’s sleep in preparation for Tuesday.

Tuesday morning was the earliest I have EVER met the band. Must have been all that sleep! Everybody looked nice…okay ah lying…plenty people did not look nice atall. If I thought my belly was dragging on de ground, some ah dem belly was cleaning up behind the band…omg.  Anyway…what stunned me was the amount of FRONLTINE or INDIVIDUAL MALES. Wha de fork…I never know is so much man wanted to wear all dat mas..my gosh! I could not believe my eyes. WOW! We go have to dedicate a next session to discuss that. I am still a bit disturbed.  Anyway, luckily there was some nice eye candy working their way through the band too. Mmmm…good job fellas…de gym and I thank you. I had to actually whip out the old camera a couple times…sometimes I had to tell dey woman get in de damn picture too because some of allyuh woman does cut yuh eye like if I gonna stop playin mas to take yuh man home with me. Hello! Get a grip dahlins…I have my own I just doh walk him on a leash carnival time! I really wonder about some of allyuh sometime. SMFH

Anyway…I would now like to present the jokiest male costume award to….drumroll please…well, there’s a tie. This award will have to go to Habotai male with Rajastan male coming in a close second. Who idea was it to put these men in hot pink and black for a carnival Tueday? Who?!?!? Black is wicked enough in that hot sun…but then pink? And they change the prototype to boot? So the men went from a plain black pants, to a pink, grey and black pants? Oh gosh…meh belly! And that Doti only option for rajastan? OMG I think I have said enough. Allyuh men need to stand up for your rights! Dat is rhell shit!!!! Somebody tell me only real men does wear pink…bullshit. Dat was de dotish line she must be tell she man to convince him dat foolishness was a good idea! LMAO Oh gosh. I still laughing over them 2 male sections all now. Oui!

Anyway, all in all I had a time. If allyuh lookin fuh play by play, chip by chip wine by wine…uhm…go book a forkin ticket. I look like I memorizing thing for your benefit or wha? I have one gripe though. I vex allyuh run out of water Tuesday night. Wha is dat one? WASA providing de bottled water too or what? Fix up Tribe. I never know allyuh to run out of anything so I will take this as a slight glitch in de system. Yuh eh run out of meh 1919 so we still cool. Fix dat water thing fuh next year though please and thanks. De afterparty vibe was cool. Meh fadda ask me how much good time I could have…I tell him as much as I pay for! Thanks for de lil cooldown session. It’s a shame that the asses I spoke about in my previous post had to carry on disorderly outside the thing and spoil it though. I hope that does not discourage you from continuing this for next year.

Overall I will give Tribe a B+. Allyuh need to shrink that band! Lickerishness does run yuh belly…recognize that from now and prevent yuh bottom from burning you later! Sweet Ting say so! Bless!

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A Horn is a Horn….only when you take it on…

8 01 2010

So fellas it’s been a while…well ah reach back just in time to make sure allyuh knowing how to play yuh position for de carnival season. I know plenty of allyuh talk a good game and all but when it all boils down to it, it’s really just talk. I know of some fellas dat does like to play a little game carnival time called “Ah vex!”. They does suddenly get vex for some unexplained reason and look to make argument with they woman or suddenly do some kinda silent treatment. The goal here is to have yuh woman wondering what wrong…maybe she do something wrong…maybe you find out something. This time yuh eh know shit and eh vex about nothing. You just looking to cause just enough confusion fuh allyuh to be separate fuh carnival time. Allyuh feel yuh rhell bright eh? But when yuh hear de shout Carnival Tuesday reach, yuh woman wining down de road wit a drink in one hand and she bottom rolling on a man. Oh! Wait! How dat happen?Eh heh! Yuh feel only you could be vex right? She should be home wondering wha wrong with you right? WRONG!!!!! Let me tell you like this. If you decide that you rather go see what is out on de road carnival time instead of what yuh done have…doh be surprise when yuh woman bottom rolling up and down Frederick street. Nobody staying home to think about you carnival time. So it’s best you make yuh decision ahead of time and stick with it. Here is my top 5 list of DON’Ts.

DO NOT:

  1. DO NOT go pulling no man off yuh woman if she is willingly wining on him. Is she waist and she have all rights to fling it where she want.
  2. DO NOT try and watch she cut eye like she doing something wrong. Ent is you dat didn’t want she latched on to you carnival time? Well…yuh get yuh wish!
  3. DO NOT decide now that yuh want yuh partner to go down de road with. NAH! Stick to yuh damn plan. After carnival yuh could decide if you want to reconcile. Carnival Monday and Tuesday is no time for couples therapy on de road.
  4. DO NOT begin to follow she by a few feet and cut yuh eye at every man that approaches her. Stop yuh shit. Move to a next section and find somebody else to entertain yuh. It’s like allyuh does only see de 45 to 1 ratio when yuh woman home sewing up yuh holey draws. As she reach out in de road in panty and beads and not with you suddenly is like she alone in de band.
  5. DO NOT make a fackin scene in de band! Do not do it! Somebody will be there with camera on hand and will catch you being an ass right on camera and dat shit will be all over youtube, facebook, and wherever else could post before yuh could wash de carnival sweat from under yuh left nut. Please go peacefully…pat yuh back about yuh great idea and wonderful plan and go like yuh fackin self. It is carnival time and she done having a time…no need to spoil your own.

This is Sweet Ting signing off…please remember…a horn could only be a horn if yuh take it on. Bless.





Wining Kriminals Released

25 10 2007

 

 

[odeo=http://odeo.com/audio/17195403/view]

 

 

Wining Kriminals Released

Better late than never.  We are a skylarking crew of Carnival lovers who decided to bless the world with our views of Carnival and also our visions on how Carnival should be.  In Carnival there is the good, the bad and the ugly, and our goals are to explore these different but necessary components which make Carnival the “Greatest Show on Earth”. 

Currently the Wining Kriminals comprises of four very articulate and well rounded individuals.  Canboulay, Midnight Robber, Sweet Ting and Loud4Spite.  We have no affiliations and are loyal to one.  We are here to say what feel as we see it.  If anyone is offended by our Blog, we are not sorry.  Feel free to express yourselves as we do on here, but don’t dish out what you cannot take back in return.   We are all lifelong learners with open minds, hopefully our readers will learn from us, as we will learn from them.

 

Introduction

 

 

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Canboulay aka Cannes Brulles, which means “burning cane”.  This commemorated the putting-out of cane fires during slavery. After slavery it became one of the important and deep-rooted festivals of the black people and was marked by ribald dancing and the lighted flambeaus carried in the street.
The police always opposed this with vigor, claiming that the lighted flambeaus could burn down the town.

The people, who always regarded the police as oppressors, resisted and resisted bitterly .During the period that Canboulay was observed on August 1, the anniversary of the Abolition of Slavery, it was easy to suppress the cult, but when this was crushed and the people started Carnival time, it became almost impossible to quell it, because the masses claimed the right to celebrate Carnival as they thought fit.

My character, Canboulay is here to start the burning of the flambeaus again, and to resist certain aspects of this Capitalistic celebration which Carnival has evolved into.  I will bring the fire and will not be suppressed by the masses of brainwashed jumbies.  It is imperative that we stand for something or fall for everything.

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Sweet Ting is the “lady” of our crew and her name describes the essence of her being.  She is sweet like a ripe Julie Mango.  At the same time if yuh cross Sweet Ting d wrong way she go bite yuh up like a bunch ah Jep who nest yuh decide to shake wit a broomstick.  The lady of our crew is like the cool little sister yuh never had, but always wanted.  The assets that Sweet Ting brings are invaluable to the Wining Kriminals viewers.  Imagine a woman dat both sexes can understand, by giving a unique and rare insight on the male and female psyche.

  Her experiences and knowledge are that of a well seasoned masquerader and feter.  Her opinions are well balanced and unbiased.  She is not a bachannalist but does not shy away from confrontation.  Her objectivity if looked at with an open mind by readers of this Blog.

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Midnight Robber is traditionally described as a one thousand-year old fearsome braggart.
The Midnight Robber is the bad-guy hero of any adventure. He wears an imposing wide brimmed hat and a long cape, both decorated with morbid images that are often testimonies of those he have plundered and murdered. He threatens to put you on his list if you cannot prove that you are more notorious than he is. He is the personification of anything, animate, inanimate or abstract, that carries uncontrollably destructive qualities. In this way, political and social commentary is easy to include in a Robber speech. 

The tyranny of The Robber is based on revenge he is seeking for his African ancestors who were forced to become slaves, “My great-grandfather’s treasures were stolen, his life was taken and it was then that I became a Midnight Robber.”  The style of the Robber is to approach people on the street and scare them almost to death with one of his bloodstained speeches, the result being – the pedestrian gives him money to spare his life.  Within the speeches are very long gory words, some of which are made up, but nevertheless, create the desired gory effect.

The Wining Kriminals Midnight Robber is just as deadly as the traditional character, but his virility lies within his lyrics.  His articulations and suave personality is one which he utilizes to “tief a wine” not money.  His persuasive methods are well tested and many can attest to falling victim to this bandit.  Readers of the Midnight Robber’s entries will always get a very candid image of his topics of discussion.   Readers should not fear reprisals for responding, but be prepared give a strong account of your answers.

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Loud4Spite Bio Coming Soon.