Unoccupy Trinidad and Tobago Carnival

9 12 2011

Take win 1%’ers. Allyuh have secured the realm. I always considered mehself ah working-class Carnival enthusiast because I eh come from money and didntmind putting out a few extra shillings for 2 things, Security and Good Music. Never needed to be in an all-inclusive fete or band because I could eat a proper plate ah food before ah go out and not overhyped “gourmet” cutters in afete……ah could patronize d street vendors and walk wit meh pouch full ah authentic Premium Scotch or Rum. All ah ever need and want is proper Security and competent disc Jockeys to play meh soca. But before I really start ranting like a madman I go say this. The beauty of life is the ability to make changes and have choices. And we from the Caribbean have been blessed with the opportunity to exercise that right although the Colonialistic mentality is still strong like unstrained babash.

I see it suppose to have ah all-inclusive LIME ting going on Carnival Wednesday at Hyatt and from what ah did hear it was around $1000tt – $1200tt last year. Now this year it running from $1200 – $1800tt. Maybe I should quote in US dollars…..$200US – $300US respectively. Now get this. That is General Admission and VIP. So I guessing the whole dynamics change in 11+ months. Allyuh loss allyuh focking marbles in a game a pitch.  Does ah room and 3 girls from Copa come wit dat?

The other set ah mad people is from meh bess fete come Thursday, Beach House. I hear ah rumor dat dey talking bout raising d price tuh $1000tt or $200US and supposedly is to make it more intimate or some shit so. IfI want intimacy i go lock myself up in a room wit meh woman. Oh people complaining bout it had too much people and dey had to wait on line for food and drinks. If allyuh dat hungry do like me and open d gates with the organizers and caters at d start time. I does even help dem bring d food in and set up dey stations. It takes a village and I have no problem lending a hand tuh another human being success.

Last but not least ah going tuh talk about meh bess band last year YUMA. Like allyuh under a SoE? Allyuh doh care bout foreign masqueraders? Maybe allyuh need tuh start quoting in pound sterling. Gone by d mascamp and no costumes on display. So dem foreign woman coming down on a little holidays cah get a little peak of what dey paying $600US+ for? Allyuh large. And what really going on with allyuh Facebook Wall. Was there a plot tuh spam it with Tribe costumes? From what I seeing is only the administrator allowed to post on the Wall. Is so allyuh treating people after 1 year. Young Upward blah blah blah.

Is really these 3 things i wanted tuh touch on and not go into the whole ranting and raving thing because like ah said earlier. We have choices. And sometimes we have to look at why society tun up. Last year I had tuh put meh foot down on meh jouvert band because it have no blance in cost for services being received. This year I was going tuh LIME Wednesday but how much can I really eat and drink in 8 hours tuh justify what ah paying? And worse yet dey live entertainers not up tuh par. I not going tuh d Beach House Thursday either if they shit on deyself and raise dat price. And YUMA doh tink I eh go scalp dat costume wit a profit tuh some bazodee sheep who wat tuh chase down some YUMA fowls.

I am appealing to mostly the FOREIGNERS who drop THOUSANDS of dollars every year to pay homage tuh d greatest Carnival in d World. I am appealing tuh d locals who have the means to attend these big shot fetes. Put allyuh foot down. Look at the world around you and the changes that taking place. Individuals are standing up to the 1% at every corner of the globe. Carnival imitates life. It is a fact to those of us who have a deeper understanding of life. I know its late and money is already invested for 2012. But exercise your right to get value for your money in 2012 and think long and hard about making more changes for 2013 (God Spare Life). Is time tuh stop d 1% from tiefing people head with their nonsense.  1%’ers respond at allyuh own risk.





Cyah believe it’s Tribe Tribe Tribe Tribe…

15 03 2010

So yes allyuh I have returned to Tribe after a brief 2 year hiatus.  Making children does put a lil pause on things like mas and galavanting and drinkin…well…for some of us. Anyway, I was a little hesitant for a couple reasons. For one I have reluctantly tortured myself by viewing pictures and videos of Tribe during my missed years and the band seemed to have gotten monstrously large. Ah mean looking like a massive Poison mess! Where had my “no more than 3000 masqueraders” band gone? Surely that could not be them crossing that judging point camera for hours! Maybe the camera was just adding on weight to the band I convinced myself…surely that is not the Tribe I know! With that thought pushed to the back of my mind I proceeded preparing for registration.

Unlike allyuh men, I need a little more than an appropriate color board shorts and a wrist band. So, along with the rest of the fanatics I was poised for registration in July…my finger was on the mouse trigger ready to secure my costume that I had already chosen. Sad to say folks, as I logged on in those first moments of registration and it was reminiscent of 2004 when sections were sold out within SECONDS of the start of registration. So here we are with this so called TLC registration and my section of choice is sold out. I shook my head as I already knew of several people who had never even played with Tribe before, yet they were already registered and well comfortable in meh band. Big fat forkin steups. I have no problem with pre registration, and friends and family registration, and de registration of registration, but when yuh fillin up de band with a set of nevaseecomesees ahead of yuh loyal masqueraders I feel dat is shit! Anywho, as I believe in stickin to the evil that I know vs the unknown I went ahead and registered in one of my alternate sections. That and all was a next bachannal as the online payment system was not working. But if you know me you will know that something like a system glitch will not keep me away from my mas. I will not even get deep into all of that. There are places and people that getting deep into the nitty grity of every crevice of their experience. I sure allyuh bloggers familiar with them so I will spare you. I have meh mas secure…leh we fast forward what seemed like a million months as I waited….and waited….and waited…and waited…for carnival time to come.

So…the time reach, I reach Trinidad, and I organize to go retrieve meh mas. Up that forkin hill again to Cascadia we go, cash in hand. I went on a day that was not assigned to me so I expected a little wait. After we park and approach, we start to hear some soca…GREAT! There was a tent to get a number, a next tent where people were sitting and waiting to be called…a next tent where they were selling boots, little purses to match yuh mas, and handheld breathalyzers to help yuh predict how de breathalyzer traps would handle you. Good stuff! Stepped inside to the bar with my family and had a couple drinks…that was great. Ok…ummm…I still waiting. No scene…everything moving smoothly. Go inside, pay off balance, go to the next spot, pick up meh mas…check out the contents…NICE! Next step go get meh wrist band. The man asks me if this is my first year playing with Tribe. PAUSE! “uhmmmmm, thought we never got past TLC registration?” He smirk, then laugh, then mumble, then continue giving me directions. Steups…Was I laughing? Okay I was drinking…maybe I was…lol. Moving right along…lol. I have meh things…everything looked as pictured…I ready…gone now…wait…is that Anya Yeongchoungsuckprick? I thought she was an IPer…nah…cyah be she…leh we go allyuh….oh…we can’t go yet. We need Tribe Ignite TLC tickets…these tickets have been coming since Jesus was a little boy. Tell me why de ass I have to wait for TLC tickets…sell me de forkin tickets yuh have for de tlc price and let me go meh way nah!  I have done all kinda thing and the tickets ent reach yet. Steups. Have a next drink…that makes all things better! As I start to see the bottom of the drink the tickets reach…we get what we have to get and we gone. All’s well that ends well.

Carnival Monday, reach the band by the Savannah…hit the drinks truck on some side road…think they were waiting for me. Go meet the band…they are about to cross….oh fork…they really playing Palance? Grrrrrrrr I am already irritated with the brainwash push of this song. I do a half hearted Palance across the judging road area and eagerly await that song to turn off. I was very excited that they only played this song at judging points and not constantly on the road.  The crowd was manageable on Monday. I had no problem getting drinks. The first truck seemed to have the best music but the journey to the damn wee wee truck was a mission…especially when yuh get a next drink when yuh come out…before yuh make it to the front it’s time to go to the back again…what a pain in de ass!  I think we ended kinda early on Monday. Or it could be the carnival jumbie in me that didn’t want it to end! L Needless to say I had quite a bit of time to get a good night’s sleep in preparation for Tuesday.

Tuesday morning was the earliest I have EVER met the band. Must have been all that sleep! Everybody looked nice…okay ah lying…plenty people did not look nice atall. If I thought my belly was dragging on de ground, some ah dem belly was cleaning up behind the band…omg.  Anyway…what stunned me was the amount of FRONLTINE or INDIVIDUAL MALES. Wha de fork…I never know is so much man wanted to wear all dat mas..my gosh! I could not believe my eyes. WOW! We go have to dedicate a next session to discuss that. I am still a bit disturbed.  Anyway, luckily there was some nice eye candy working their way through the band too. Mmmm…good job fellas…de gym and I thank you. I had to actually whip out the old camera a couple times…sometimes I had to tell dey woman get in de damn picture too because some of allyuh woman does cut yuh eye like if I gonna stop playin mas to take yuh man home with me. Hello! Get a grip dahlins…I have my own I just doh walk him on a leash carnival time! I really wonder about some of allyuh sometime. SMFH

Anyway…I would now like to present the jokiest male costume award to….drumroll please…well, there’s a tie. This award will have to go to Habotai male with Rajastan male coming in a close second. Who idea was it to put these men in hot pink and black for a carnival Tueday? Who?!?!? Black is wicked enough in that hot sun…but then pink? And they change the prototype to boot? So the men went from a plain black pants, to a pink, grey and black pants? Oh gosh…meh belly! And that Doti only option for rajastan? OMG I think I have said enough. Allyuh men need to stand up for your rights! Dat is rhell shit!!!! Somebody tell me only real men does wear pink…bullshit. Dat was de dotish line she must be tell she man to convince him dat foolishness was a good idea! LMAO Oh gosh. I still laughing over them 2 male sections all now. Oui!

Anyway, all in all I had a time. If allyuh lookin fuh play by play, chip by chip wine by wine…uhm…go book a forkin ticket. I look like I memorizing thing for your benefit or wha? I have one gripe though. I vex allyuh run out of water Tuesday night. Wha is dat one? WASA providing de bottled water too or what? Fix up Tribe. I never know allyuh to run out of anything so I will take this as a slight glitch in de system. Yuh eh run out of meh 1919 so we still cool. Fix dat water thing fuh next year though please and thanks. De afterparty vibe was cool. Meh fadda ask me how much good time I could have…I tell him as much as I pay for! Thanks for de lil cooldown session. It’s a shame that the asses I spoke about in my previous post had to carry on disorderly outside the thing and spoil it though. I hope that does not discourage you from continuing this for next year.

Overall I will give Tribe a B+. Allyuh need to shrink that band! Lickerishness does run yuh belly…recognize that from now and prevent yuh bottom from burning you later! Sweet Ting say so! Bless!





We come out to wine…dey come out to stab

23 02 2010

Alright…so…carnival is over and the tabanka is setting in and of course there is plenty to discuss. Of course we must speak on the music and the fetes and the road. But I am not starting there. People want to talk about costume and who eh get in dey section and who pull dey feathers and whole set ah caca. For my beginning I want to discuss the end and address some of allyuh fellas that seem to have NO FORKIN BEHAVIOR!!!!!!

Now…I was on the road Monday and Tuesday and witnessed, as usual, an abundance of beautiful women on de road barely dressed. Lawd they could give people a complex! Anywho, as usual the man to woman ratio is ridiculous! Plenty men have gotten a clue and have started to play mas to take part on de endless buffet of bam bam rolling. However, it seems like some ass clowns still cyah take a forkin hint and instead of drinkin and jamming a woman they looking to come out and cause problems fuh people! Tell me why it’s Tuesday night, I wining low, jamming on my man in de road afterparty…head feeling nice…DJ’s only saying we goin till morning…we goin till morning…next ting braps…uhm…de authorities have requested that we shut down. Huh? Shut down? Why?!?!? Well let me tell you why. Some forkin clowns decide that instead of jamming on woman they would be more excited stabbing man! Seriously? Allyuh just idle so? Who de fack does that? Excuse meh French Spanish and Portugese eh but them idiots need a good knife stab in dey bottom hole because who de fork does decide to come out and start to stab up people just so? Yuh not robbing. Yuh not fighting fuh yuh woman. Yuh just feel to come stab people? St. Ann’s was fully booked carnival time or wha? Imagine you wining wit no behavior and next thing you look down and blood pouring out just so carnival Tuesday night. Dat is NOT de ending anybody is looking for! We come out to have fun and man come out to stab. Bun out dem assholes yes. Literally need to throw some oil and light dey ass on forkin fire! I am so vex as I write this. I tried to wait a lil bit before I addressed this but just thinking of it I am vex all over again! Dat is rhell shit! Three people were said to be stabbed in the area. I know of one for sure. One and all is too many!!!!!!!!! My request to allyuh idle men dat feel yuh to “manly” to play mas…stay yuh manly ass at home on Carnival Monday and Tueday.

Doh come cocking up yuh dutty pelvis lookin fuh wine when my band pass. Doh stretch yuh nasty manly hand pass de ropes trying to grasp my costumed bottom. And doh come looking to fight with the men who have sense enough to pay they money and have a nice time. Stay home and wine up and caress yuh knife and gun. Give them a hard wine and a jook and when de night falls…have yuh way with dem.

This is Sweet Ting and I am signing off…I will be back with my reviews of de music fetes and de road fuh 2010. Bless up!





A Horn is a Horn….only when you take it on…

8 01 2010

So fellas it’s been a while…well ah reach back just in time to make sure allyuh knowing how to play yuh position for de carnival season. I know plenty of allyuh talk a good game and all but when it all boils down to it, it’s really just talk. I know of some fellas dat does like to play a little game carnival time called “Ah vex!”. They does suddenly get vex for some unexplained reason and look to make argument with they woman or suddenly do some kinda silent treatment. The goal here is to have yuh woman wondering what wrong…maybe she do something wrong…maybe you find out something. This time yuh eh know shit and eh vex about nothing. You just looking to cause just enough confusion fuh allyuh to be separate fuh carnival time. Allyuh feel yuh rhell bright eh? But when yuh hear de shout Carnival Tuesday reach, yuh woman wining down de road wit a drink in one hand and she bottom rolling on a man. Oh! Wait! How dat happen?Eh heh! Yuh feel only you could be vex right? She should be home wondering wha wrong with you right? WRONG!!!!! Let me tell you like this. If you decide that you rather go see what is out on de road carnival time instead of what yuh done have…doh be surprise when yuh woman bottom rolling up and down Frederick street. Nobody staying home to think about you carnival time. So it’s best you make yuh decision ahead of time and stick with it. Here is my top 5 list of DON’Ts.

DO NOT:

  1. DO NOT go pulling no man off yuh woman if she is willingly wining on him. Is she waist and she have all rights to fling it where she want.
  2. DO NOT try and watch she cut eye like she doing something wrong. Ent is you dat didn’t want she latched on to you carnival time? Well…yuh get yuh wish!
  3. DO NOT decide now that yuh want yuh partner to go down de road with. NAH! Stick to yuh damn plan. After carnival yuh could decide if you want to reconcile. Carnival Monday and Tuesday is no time for couples therapy on de road.
  4. DO NOT begin to follow she by a few feet and cut yuh eye at every man that approaches her. Stop yuh shit. Move to a next section and find somebody else to entertain yuh. It’s like allyuh does only see de 45 to 1 ratio when yuh woman home sewing up yuh holey draws. As she reach out in de road in panty and beads and not with you suddenly is like she alone in de band.
  5. DO NOT make a fackin scene in de band! Do not do it! Somebody will be there with camera on hand and will catch you being an ass right on camera and dat shit will be all over youtube, facebook, and wherever else could post before yuh could wash de carnival sweat from under yuh left nut. Please go peacefully…pat yuh back about yuh great idea and wonderful plan and go like yuh fackin self. It is carnival time and she done having a time…no need to spoil your own.

This is Sweet Ting signing off…please remember…a horn could only be a horn if yuh take it on. Bless.





Reddy Reddy Reddy……Reddy Like Freddy Tuh See Fetes Buss

20 01 2009

Greeting Carnival Jumbies. We back. D excitement of C2K9 just havent been bubbling. This might be the worse year as far as anticipation I have ever experienced. D only good ting is that we been getting some quality music.  Allyuh hear Meet Super Blue Yet?  Wat bout KMC Ahm Not Drunk and Yeast?  Bunji say “Dance must have plenty gal…….no Post Office not atall”.   Ok enuff ah da, lmmeh get straight and tuh d point. The stakeholders involved in T&T Carnival are too focking greedy and dey will take a huge hit for 2009. D big talk few months back was dat T&T recession proof……guess what…….its called a Global Financial Crisis. Uncle Patos say “tighten d belt” on spending.  Carnival this year will be very different from the past few years. i predict fetes will bust, mas bands will see a huge decline in profits and hotels will also see a huge decline in profits. Yuh asking why, alyuh should already know why……tings rell bad right now and people pockets bawling. Yuh would think its common sense right. Well not in d land of fete. Certain greedy promoters charging more than dey did last year and it even have 1 bold enough tuh b holding d of d same type themed ultra super all-inclusive. Mark meh words……d arrogance and greed of dese business people will be their demise this carnival season. We have been bawling fuh years that carnival is so expensive. well this might be d year we see these business people get a bitter taste in dey mout when dey business interests flop. Bill Cosby does say “d proof is in d pudding, well here are a few newspaper articles which reinforces the “vibe” or lack of…….that us masqueraders have been feeling in the past few months.   

 

1)  Mas Bands:  Although many bands will not publicly admit dat business bad, common sense will tell us differently.   here are 2 recent articles where in 1 case bands are being FORCED to downsize and another case in South Trinidad another band is offering buy 2 get 1 free on costumes.  

http://guardian.co.tt/news/general/2009/01/18/mas-bands-forced-downsize-sections

 

http://www.trinidadexpress.com/index.pl/article_news?id=161427343

2)  Hotel Accommodations:  “The Ritz-Carlton which is a world class hotel in Paris is cheaper than the Hyatt-Regency in POS”.   “Why drop rates “to accommodate foreigners”? What about people like me who live out of town and will like to stay at a hotel in Port of Spain but can’t afford the exorbitant carnival rates. Perhaps hoteliers and rooming-house operators will now quote their rates to we “poor” Trinbagonians in TT dollars, instead of the usual US we are forced to calculate/convert. Perhaps with the drop in rates we locals would now be able to sample good Trini hospitality”.  These are a few quotes I took from the Express where people are just disgusted with the cost of accommodations for Carnival and Hotel owners are upset because d Tourism Minister recommended that dey lower dey rates tuh pull in more business.  But greed will prevail and cost dem hotel owners money.  Yuh could badtalk America all yuh want, but dis is d land of deals.  Business people up here know how tuh provide incentives for customers and how tuh keep dem too.  Not in land of piss poor customer service and dig-out yuh eyeballs prices.  
Well we go see how tings go.  D whole world in a mess right now but everybody need tuh have dey priorities in order. Trinbagonians need tuh understand that nobody is immune from this worldwide economic disaster.  D ting dat relly have me vex is d arrogance and greed of dese promoters, band and hotel owners.  But dey go get a rude awaking.  And hopefully it go be a lesson fuh dem in d long haul so dat when if d world economy recover……………we will start back getting value fuh we money and at a reasonable price………is but so much juice yuh could take from a orange b4 it totally dry.




Bastan Karnival

7 09 2008

This will b very short.    Decided to check it out and play mud.  Booked Hotel.  Found out price of playing mud raised because it was “all-inclusive”.  Wanted tuh cancel but hotel already booked.  The $75 fuh mud was not worth the price and the experience stil eh justify even half of it.  Stormers stormed and outnumbered masqueraders, 1 truck fuh 2 bands, food (lol) allyuh cah b serious, costume (lol) allyuh relly cah be serious and security tried…………but was not sufficient.  This was my second visit tuh Bastan and ah could give ah 99.99% guarantee I eh going back.  

 

New Jersey is often described as the armpit of America because of the Industrialization………….but I dare tuh say Bastan is d buttomhole of d America.  I have never seen so many wutless looking and acting West Indians in meh life.  Oh d tings dat ah see dat make meh feel so shame.Doh get meh wrong ah know and have met some decent West Indian folks from out dey………..god be wit allyuh. And fuh d first time in meh life ah almost get trampled in ah organized band.  From looking at the Boston Carnival organization website dey looked like dey had history and pride.  But from d looks of tings………….sumting eh right.  I dun.





Picking A Band and Section to Play Mas

31 10 2007

confused2.jpg

[odeo=http://odeo.com/audio/17232863/view]

If you are like me and monitor the Carnival message boards you see all these females in a frenzy trying to decide who they going to jump with.   There are 3 types of female masqueraders and 2 types of male masqueraders.   On the female side there are the Carnival Whore, Flip-flop Wajang and Confused Virgin.   As far as the fellas are concerned, there are 2 categories.   Bamsee Hauler and Rum Chaser.  

D Carnival Whore started off playing Kiddies Carnival and hasn’t stopped yet.    She mudder, grandmudder and greatgrand-mudder passed the standard to her.   She is faithful to one band and will planasse yuh if yuh dare badtalk she band.  She have playing mas down to a science and you can learn a lot from this woman.  There is also a very high probability that this masquerader will fall into the “2 band hoe” category discussed earlier. Nothing will stop this particular woman from making mas year after year. 9 months pregnant? no scene, House burn down and all belongings lost? no problem.. Husband threaten to leave if she go one more carnival???  Fukk him… A real Carnival Whore is relentless and tenacious.  I would rather hand feed a rabid pit bull than get in the way of this womans mas.

  

The Flip-flop Wajang usually bounces between 3 bands from band launch till jump up day, she has no strong affiliations and will horn yuh d same way in real life.   She going where the costumes are on “fyah”.  She will also bounce from section to section until time escapes her.  This woman is pretty easy to spot.  She will buy a costume with the first band that launch because that’s where all her friends are going.  Next band launch, she immediately falls in love with the overall presentation and das where she wants to be.  At which time, she will reserve a costume and declare herself 2band hoe.  No scene, I will play wit band A on Monday and Band B on Tuesday. 8 more band launches later, a friend offer a free costume in their band.  Now, the real confusion begins.   Friends?  Fantabulous Presentation?   Finance……what to do…. what to do?

  

The Confused Virgin never play mas yet.   She looking for advice on which band to play wit, what she should wear Carnival Monday, boots or sneakers, type of make-up, thongs or panty…..the list is endless..   D Virgin can be easily chained up to play wit any band because she eh kno better.   After she first experience playing a mas, d virgin will swear there is no better than that band.    She will probably get hooked and eventually become a whore to that band.  Classic case where she will then be used, abused and refused by that band year after year.

In the male category of Bamsee Hauler, it is self explanatory.   This fella is only concerned with playing in a band where there is an abundance of big bamsee which will overwhelm him to the point of ecstasy.   He is a bamsee assault specialist and Carnival Monday and Tuesday in d right band is like his first Christmas day all over again.  He has no affiliations or loyalty unless a particular band has a reputation of providing big bamsees. They will spend countless hours on the computer, perusing galleries evaluating the quality of bamcee in ah particular band. This can be misleading b/c experience has proven that Band photographers tend to miss 95% of the band and primarily take pictures of the hot women. Not that anyone complains but ah fella will join the rumchaser to distort their vision at which time, 95% of the women will appeal to their desires..  

The Rum Chaser like to wine on woman, but his priority is focused on the ever elusive task of busing d bar by he self.    He is a professional drinker and takes his job seriously.   Drinking is a science to him also and have a few golden rules that he always follows when picking a band.   Actually is juss 1 rule, check d website to see who d alcohol sponsors are.  It must be noted that this fella will not be found laying on d ground like a common rummy, he will start and finish d race at d same pace each and every year.

Bartenders should be weary of this fella. He is looking to steal full bottles of Johnny Walker from off deh truck.  One way to notice if this fella is successful in his petty larceny, he will mek requests that are non alcoholic in nature.  Cups of ice, coconut water, red bull…etc.  Follow this man because he has a bottle someplace and it beats fighting wit the other masqueraders fuh your refill.