Turn D Volume Up All D Way…..Listen….Feel IT and Understand IT.

24 01 2008


We Gone………see allyuh on D Road………Be safe


D Art of Tiefing Ah Wine

17 01 2008



For centuries men have been getting mixed signals from women which causes great discomfort when yuh see ah bumsee yuh wah jam.  Meh fren does call dat part of it “gender politricks”.   But fellas have no fear cuz Carnival is here.  Come Carnival time yuh odds are increased 1000 fold and yuh could probably have a 95% success rate………but we must stress dat if ah woman give yuh a wine, it does not mean dat she wah hold on to yuh fuh d duration of d day or nite (unless she verbally expresss dis to yuh)…………..it only means dat she in a good mood and giving yuh a lil play so yuh could be on yuh way.  Our goal here is to give allyuh some proven tactics and strategies in order to succeed in dat bumsee jungle come Carnival time. 

1) Bumsee on bumsee attack is wey ah nice groovey tune playing yuh strategically position yuhself back to back wit yuh target.  Yuh will den give she a lil waist to see how she reacts………u may den peep over yuh shoulder.  If she gives yuh a scowl of disgust we suggest yuh put yuh shame face on and disappear.  If she give yuh a lil smile or cock back dat buttom on yuh….den its on like boil corn.

2) D By D Bar Attack is wey yuh b d bar waiting fuh ah drink…….dis could be on d road or at ah fete……..women are often very charitable wit d bumsee at those locations………on d road yuh could be a gentleman and give dem a squeeze in so dey could get dey drink or even get dey drink fuh dem…..do dat and yuh in like Flynn (I eh kno who Flynn is so doh ask).

3) D Meh Fren from Puerto Rico Attack is wey yuh tell a gal yuh partner is a foreigner and is he first time in Trinidad ad if she could go put a good Trini wine on him……….dis works everytime but yuh have to make sure yuh pardna talk in some broke English, Patois or Pig Latin.

4) D Big Tune Attack is wey yuh hear ah big tune come on…….dat mean is time to position yuhself fuh ah guaranteed wine.  It have certain tunes dat does make dem woman go insane.  Dey would wine on a gremlin when 1 ah dem tune start playing.  Since we looking out fuh allyuh fellas we go give allyuh a HOT tip on 1 particular artist who go help allyuh cause.   Any ah dem Patrice Robberts “wukking up” tunes WILL get allyuh a wine.

5) Stick and Move Attack…yuh make yuh way through a crowded fete in an attempt to get to the front. There is no better way than that to tief multiple wines from plenty women as you creep forward. But the objective is not to give them long wines fuh the rest of the evening unless of course you found a prize.  But give 10 short sweet wines to random women, usually for 1 tune only.  They will come lookin fuh more later.  They might have you surrounded at the front of the stage when you finally reach.

 6) The Bumb Rush. This is a high risk maneuver usually done for fun b/c it involves mampees.  Its like Cow tipping…white farm boys do it for no reason.  Like a pride of lions attacking an elephant, you and 4 of yuh bravest breddrins, stalk a free roaming Mampee on the road.   The best lookin fella in the group is the decoy and he must approach her from dey front so she get distracted.  As soon as she stop, the others pounce, one jump high on she back and hold on (use your harness and rope).  2 on each thigh, the biggest fella go low on she bamcee and the pretty boy jump on the front.  This can only last for 30 seconds before she start pelting waist and throw your carcasses all ova de road.  But the thrill of the near death experience will get yuh heart racing like a rollercoaster ride.  One important point,yuh don’t want to be the last man left cause she might grab onto yuh and not let you go. That’s what make it high risk but hopefully all 5 will get away and live fuh anodda bumb rush.

Well Fellas and Ladies….Happy Bamsee Hauling (I eh sure wat women call it)….This is Wining Season and Arrive Alive………By next week the Kriminals should be on T&T soil so this is our see yuh later post………..We gonna drop a POWERFUL tune fuh allyuh to listen to in a few days………if dat tune doh raise allyuh pores and allyuh doh feel d Spirit of Carnival….den allyuh should refund dat plane ticket and sell dat costume………….Its going to be a GREAT Carnival season, trust me.

Canboulay & Robber

VIP or General Population

12 01 2008


We aching…..we in pain.  We cah wait to reach T&T Carnival.  In d meantime we listening to radio and getting weself ready for d bachannal.  Midnight Robber and I was listening 96.7 Red FM and dey was talking bout d VIP section in fetes dat have become so popular.  When people hear VIP d first ting dat comes to mind is dat VIP is fuh dem “stush”  people who feel dey better dan everybody else.  But the Wining Kriminals are here to tell allyuh it aint always so.  Doh tink fuh a second dat we saying people should pay big money go in VIP in every fete…….but certain fetes it is very necessary.  MidNight Robber and I both agree dat d only VIP dat was worth it for both of us was 10-10 in Barbados……….everywhere else it was juss a necessary evil in order to be safe and have an enjoyable experience.  We touched on the carnage and destruction in  d fete post………but this topic is a lil bit more focused.   

With so many All-Inclusives, you will find VIP’s in some of your basic fetes.  This is the only place in these fetes you will find “chairs”…why people want to sit dung during carnival season is beyond me but I digress.

 VIP is handled differently from fete to fete…or event to event. 

At the Soca Monarch Finals in Hasley Crawford Stadium…VIP is a mile away from the stage with a big camera and boom blocking your view. But that being said, these are good seats for witnessing all the fights and robberies on the field though.  So if yuh prefer to macco bacchanal, then VIP is the place for you. Otherwise, you cant “feel” the performances being so far away.  There are seats “next” to VIP that are just as effective.

Insomnia VIP – Free juice and water and the feeling you are important.  General Admission is the place to be at Insomnia.

Alternative Concept… VIP is the way to go. For your own safety of course.  Meh crew split in 2 fuh dis fete.  Four ah dem went General and 2 went VIP.  D General crew say everytime dey  turn arrung was a fight.  It reach to d point wey d 1 gal who was rolling wit we decide to go watch d show from up in d stands…..it was dat wild.  When yuh enter d stadium and yuh look at dem people in General like cattle ready to break loose…..pressure.  VIP had rell space doh, but not enuff drink chits fuh d money yuh spend.  D most violence ah see in VIP was a fellas behaving like dey have a Jumbie in dem and jammin woman on top ah chair and ting……..normal scenes.

Girl Power…if you want access to a chair…otherwise..the crowd in and out of VIP is the same.

I know we talking about Trini these days but It would behoove us not to mention 10-10 during Cropover season in Barbados.  These people have the right concept for VIP.  First…General Admission is held behind a 12 foot wire fence like caged animals.  When you see the general admission at the front of the gate, Its reminiscent of people trying to escape a deadly virus screaming let me in.  VIP gets the entire front stage.. Drinks included (although the bar does buss often).  General admission has screens set up for viewing but once again, being so far from the performance you can’t feel the energy from the stage.  VIP is the way to go here.   Our bottomline is in order to be safe and have a good time at certain fetes, yuh might as well splurge fuh d VIP ticket.


After we posted ah remember hearing some callers on 91.9 FM who wasnt happy atall wit d recent Temperature concert………so ah juss decide to do a little research to see if anyting was written.  Check out this article and pay close attention to the complaints of the patrons, VIP can easily be a rip-off also.  So tread lightly and doh let d hype blow allyuh minds.

Top 25 RubDown Hits for T&T C2K8

4 01 2008


Everybody have dey own taste in everyting and everybody feel a certain way bout dey music.  So we goin and give allyuh we picks from the tunes that have been released so far……….dis was difficult because we had to leave a few tunes out………but as time progresses and new tunes drop we will attempt to update the chart.  We like dese tunes because they not only make yuh wah jam somebody, but dey also can be understood and embraced by the average person because of the message being sent………it may be a joke or someting serious.  These tunes are GUARANTEED to be hits for C2K8.  The order in which dey appear doh mean ah damn ting………nobody eh more special dan d odder.  Doh tink all dey hits already drop….expect more within the next few days.  Click on he links and you we will re-directed to either www.trinjuglejuice.com or www.torontolime.com.

1)  Breathless– Blaxx
2)  Right Dey – KES the Band

3)  Jamishness-Machel Montano

4)  Wine Like Dem – Benjai

5)  Road Call-Faye-Ann Lyons
6)   Bamcee-ology – JW and Blaze

7)  Pele Pele Pa – Fireball

8.)  No More-Shurwayne Winchester

9)  Help –  Bunji Garlin

10) Mr DJ – Augusta

11) Whole Day – Shurwaine Winchester and Johnny King

12) Doh Waste Yuh Wine (Remix) – Crazy

13) Dat Will Do – Militant

14) Unconditional – Machel Montano

15) Never Leave Ya – Kerwin DuBois

16) Take You To The Bar – Third Bass ft 3 Suns

17) Bumper (Headlights)Pelf

18) Famous – Bunji Garlin

19) Waistline – Blazer

20) Carnival Please Stay-Shurwayne Winchester

21) Phone Card – Crazy

22) Roboman-Eclectik

23) My Posse – Nadia Batson

24) Gyal Farm – Kerwin Du Bois & Shall Marshall

25) Seduction – Gary Cordner