Spice Was Not Nice…..

8 03 2010

Sorry I took almost 3 weeks to do this.  But I needed to do this with a clear head and be as objective and fair as possible. I needed to remove the influence of ALCOHOL and the great time I had with my woman (d ducking plan get squashed lol) from the equation.

I saw it coming months ago when the whole PayPal debacle happen.  I eh even wasting time to explain tuh allyuh all d shit we had to deal with just to simply get d lady registered online.  I gave meh lady a deadline fuh dem clown to get her registed because she had already given them her credit card info and weeks after that they still didnt take the money and as far as I was concerned she wasnt registered.  I was kinna itching to go elsewhere but wanted to give them a chance.  But at d same time I doh believe in begging nobody tuh take yuh money.  Dey actually made d self imposed deadline so there was no turning back now.

We visit d mas-camp to register some more people since we was in d country and it was like a funeral home…….no signs of life.  D band leader and a fella outside.  And 2 employees inside.  No warm greetings…….no nuttin.  We had to register some fellas and all d have in d friggin building is 1 medium pants to look at………come nah man.  We doh ask fuh much.  Den d thing that put me over the edge is that mankind eh even getting a friggin t-shirt.  Maybe ah been spoiled past few years…….but yuh would tink ah dropping $400+ ah could get ah t-shirt.   Well its too late now d ball already rolling.

I will not rehash meh 3 visits to the Spice Mas Camp once they relocated to the Hilton……….Instead I go give suggestions.

1) Leave a focking number allyuh could be reached at since the old number was no longer working.

2) When people come to register and allyuh claim d computers down and allyuh take people info saying allyuh go call when it back up………..keep allyuh word and do it.  Months allyuh sucking salt in a empty mas camp and when people come to give allyuh dey money allyuh ill equipped to handle d simplest task.

3) Hire some motivated and professional adults and get rid of  dem utterly dotish pissing tail little girls who obviously just dey because dey is either family or looking for free costumes.  With the exception of the 2 dreadlocked ladies and d chiney young lady wearing glasses distributing costumes.………..everybody else we interacted with was worthless and dunce.

4) Hey Anya.  Try looking like a businesswoman and not a dotard.  When there is utter chaos going on in the business yuh in charge of It doh look good gliding around the mas camp floor chomping on Doritos or sipping a glass of wine.

5) Rocky oye.  Yuh was looking kinna busy at d camp eh……….but results pardna results…….d place was still operating like it was some 5 year old running it other than seasoned mas people.  Was it really a “breakoff of Tribe or did they  get rid of allyuh?

6) Dem 2 geriatrics allyuh had moving about d place was as useless as the idiotic pissing tail little girls……..just taking up space and oxygen.

7) so yuh mean to say is Carnival time and allyuh couldnt put a little sound system in d place so mankind could listen to some Soca tuh help ease all d unnecessary tension allyuh cause.

8.) Allyuh dotish.  And here is why.  That bottleneck and near riot created on Saturday could have been avoided if allyuh was giving people dey costumes during the week REGARDLESS of if they registered locally or online.  And t make matters worst allyuh had a thick sauce giving out numbers as people entered the Hilton Ballroom for people to later find out the number system was NOT being followed.  KFC on Independence Square does rum smoother than dat madness allyuh created off of pur stupidity and no common sense.

9) This was a real Mickey Mouse operation eh.  Allyuh really had no clue how to monitor the mas camp floor and delegate responsibilities as needed. Imagine allyuh had people sitting down wit dey thumbs in dey bottom to collect money when manpower was needed to register new masqueraders. And here is a clue………. The payment and registration stations respectively should not take more than 8 minutes by your employees……..but no is 1 setta la la in dey.   Taking dey focking time because ah guess dey eh have no real boss to answer for dey piss poor work habits.

10) Allyuh know d cash machine at d Hilton eventually run out of money right.  Figure out what allyuh do wrong.

Monday and Tuesday on D Road

Well Monday we made it out late because we was playing Jouvert and a certain fella wanted to take ah hour rest before hitting d road.  We  ketch up to d band as dey was nearing QRC for lunch.  So d trucks pull up on d side street near d death trap entrance for the rest stop and Truck # 2 labeled Merry Perry starts playing some shit that cannot be identified as music of our culture.  Allyuh know dat shit dat dey does be playing in Zen when d room get smokey and dem children does start behving like dey on ecstasy….yeah dat shit.  Imagine you spend your hard earned money to come enjoy yuh culture in yuh country of birth and some kakahole DJ decide he want to play foreign shit music on d last few days of yuh trip.   After cussing for a few minutes we decided to enter thru the bottleck for food.  Im going to keep it short.  The food was shit and the lines were long.  And drinks were not readily available.  I eh a picky fella but doh claim to be a premier band and yuh cah deliver basic services.  Back on d road and decided to stay clear of Truck #2 as much as possible because there was a good chance fire and brimstone would start raining.  The rest of Monday had nothing special to offer.  My drink of choice Angostura 1919 ran out although it was advertised and that put me in a bad place emotionally.  Me and d lady stayed with the last 2 trucks since they offered the best options.  And the day ended as it started.   For some reason we ended up by that focking Merry Perry truck and as we hit near Globe Cinema dem kakaholes started playing dat shit foreign music again.  I was really contemplating an act of violence but decided it was just best to head home and look forward to the adventures of Tuesday.

So Tuesday morning reach and no we not reaching no band dat hour in d morning in dat part of town.  We end up catching up to dem around 9 up by d hospital.  Ant it was actually a nice little stop in dat area dat reminded me of the Poison days just stuck in d hot sun for a few hours waiting tuh cross d Savannah Stage.  Seeem like we was getting a more wider variety of music and the DJ did mention that the drinks truck would be leaving since it was almost stage crossing time.  Have tuh give dem a bligh for clear communication.  So we cross d stage to the much deserved Soca Monarch and Roadmarch winning tune……….PALANCE………..and rounded the Savannah towards QRC Grounds for lunch.  Same shit with the bottleneck to get into the grounds.  Its not that we didnt appreciate the security efforts eh know……but using that small gated entrance was not very practical and dangerous.  The food sucked again excpt for the Arabic food.  Yes there was food that was not fit for a pothound to eat.  And once again like clockwork……. NO MORE 1919.  After leaving QRC we headed towards Roxy and then up Arapita Avenue.  The pace, music and energy level of the band was pretty good.  The most energy I have picked up in a band in the past 3-4 years was crossing the Synergy stage on Arapita Avenue and the stage at South Quay.  Now this is where they ended on a very shitty note.  Everybody knows that downtown Port of Spain is the most vulnerable area for Carnival…….especially when it dark.  And with that…..these jackasses abandoned their masqueraders as we reached the Promenade by Frederick Street.  When you see the few open Gays who were prancing around the safe confines of the security ropes Monday and Tuesday make a mad dash for the “Rest Maxi” which then sped off……..yuh know is time tuh secure yuh crew and head home.


Ah really wasnt planning to type this much but I think its important for people to get what they pay for……..I can safely say that Spice did their masqueraders a disservice on EVERY possible level from start to finish.  Allyuh sucked from registration to Tuesday.  Premier mas band my ass.  I wouldnt give allyuh a mango stand on d side of d road to run because allyuh would fock dat up easy and without apology.  The conclusion that I come to is that this mas thing is a game and not a business to allyuh.  Ah have to laugh at d follies I see allyuh pulling because allyuh relly doh care bout nobody but allyuh little circle of friends and family.  Recogition should be given to the handful of competent workers mentioned earlier from the mascamp, bar staff, rope and security personnel.  And the biggest bligh to the Masqueraders of Spice who didnt behave like savages and respected each other on the road and in the mas camp……..although you were put into negative situations by Spice Management to easily lose your cool on any given day.  Spice grade fuh C2K10 is a D fuh dummies.

EDIT: and yeah dat blue headpiece on dem woman did look like dey plucked d feathers off a dead cobo and den dye d feathers blue.  horrible.


We come out to wine…dey come out to stab

23 02 2010

Alright…so…carnival is over and the tabanka is setting in and of course there is plenty to discuss. Of course we must speak on the music and the fetes and the road. But I am not starting there. People want to talk about costume and who eh get in dey section and who pull dey feathers and whole set ah caca. For my beginning I want to discuss the end and address some of allyuh fellas that seem to have NO FORKIN BEHAVIOR!!!!!!

Now…I was on the road Monday and Tuesday and witnessed, as usual, an abundance of beautiful women on de road barely dressed. Lawd they could give people a complex! Anywho, as usual the man to woman ratio is ridiculous! Plenty men have gotten a clue and have started to play mas to take part on de endless buffet of bam bam rolling. However, it seems like some ass clowns still cyah take a forkin hint and instead of drinkin and jamming a woman they looking to come out and cause problems fuh people! Tell me why it’s Tuesday night, I wining low, jamming on my man in de road afterparty…head feeling nice…DJ’s only saying we goin till morning…we goin till morning…next ting braps…uhm…de authorities have requested that we shut down. Huh? Shut down? Why?!?!? Well let me tell you why. Some forkin clowns decide that instead of jamming on woman they would be more excited stabbing man! Seriously? Allyuh just idle so? Who de fack does that? Excuse meh French Spanish and Portugese eh but them idiots need a good knife stab in dey bottom hole because who de fork does decide to come out and start to stab up people just so? Yuh not robbing. Yuh not fighting fuh yuh woman. Yuh just feel to come stab people? St. Ann’s was fully booked carnival time or wha? Imagine you wining wit no behavior and next thing you look down and blood pouring out just so carnival Tuesday night. Dat is NOT de ending anybody is looking for! We come out to have fun and man come out to stab. Bun out dem assholes yes. Literally need to throw some oil and light dey ass on forkin fire! I am so vex as I write this. I tried to wait a lil bit before I addressed this but just thinking of it I am vex all over again! Dat is rhell shit! Three people were said to be stabbed in the area. I know of one for sure. One and all is too many!!!!!!!!! My request to allyuh idle men dat feel yuh to “manly” to play mas…stay yuh manly ass at home on Carnival Monday and Tueday.

Doh come cocking up yuh dutty pelvis lookin fuh wine when my band pass. Doh stretch yuh nasty manly hand pass de ropes trying to grasp my costumed bottom. And doh come looking to fight with the men who have sense enough to pay they money and have a nice time. Stay home and wine up and caress yuh knife and gun. Give them a hard wine and a jook and when de night falls…have yuh way with dem.

This is Sweet Ting and I am signing off…I will be back with my reviews of de music fetes and de road fuh 2010. Bless up!