Carnival 2K12 Review: Foreigners Fly Down Tuh Party Til Dey Lie Down

24 05 2012

Wanted to wait and really marinate d past season in the deepest consciousness of meh mind before giving feedback.  I am going to do something different this year too.  Just straight to the point and no long explanation, just a grade and a brief summary.

Fetes

Thursday @ Hilton poolside was magnificent.  A gunta free cooler fete for $120tt with the DJs only flinging tune afte tune after tune.  The live entertainment by Shal, TC and Swappi was decent and not overkill.  Grade A

Friday @ La Barge was surprisingly pleasant.  Last minute thing and we just roll with it.  Music was d best.  The crowd was very well behaved.  Fireworks when in soca feteing bliss…….priceless.  Probably not going back next year because by them EVERYBODY and they mother go want to go and it will be ruined.  Grade A

Friday @ Girl Power.  Time to cremate and bury that fete.  Never going back.  Music was pumping down by d Oval and dem playing music wit tweeters at Jenny’s carpark.  And i had enough of listening to that annoying host.  Grade D

Saturday @ Eclipze.  The Best.  Grade A++

Sunday @ Shades.  Breakfast options was below average.  Crowd was good.  Music was good except for the lapses during the foreign act live performance.  Bar did not bust but needs some 1919 in dey.  Moments of niceness but needs that extra push.  Grade B

Jouvert and Pretty Mas

We had decided way in advance since all dem changes was going on in POS with restrictions in St Clair and Woodbrook that we would only play Jouvert  IF a band decided to head down in the West tuh avoid a gunta feeding frenzy.  And as good fortune would have it Red Antz was dat band.  Pay we money and get we credentials.  Gather down by d Base……paint, rum and music ready.  Niceness.  Was a little different but with at least 1000 people out dey and 5 civilized stormers, nothing beats feeling safe on a Jouvert morning.  Might be too good to be true to do 2 years in row but it was a good time.   Grade A

Monday and Tuesday with YUMA  bad Vibes.  There was 3 hours for costume pickup, which sadly enough I use to, but  the end of the line for me is when I have to take needle and thread to fix mas clothes.  They actually focked up a pair of focking pants……..pants stupes.   The females costumes were made of cheap material and poorly constructed.  The overwhelming presence of aggressive homosexual men.  The rest stop debacle on BOTH days.  So in summary, piss poor band management, substandard costumes and more bullamen than than Greenidge Village.  Give people what they pay for and if you are catering for a “special” demographic  let people know in advance so they can choose if they want to be part of that movement.  Good luck in 2013.  Grade D-

After Carnival Cool Down

Dwight Yorke Soca Beach Party @ Pigeon Point Beach.  This was d Saturday after Carnival in Tobago and I was going just because ah was across dey.  Not into the celebrity themed parties overall but it turned out much better than expected.  Location was top class and yuh could bring yuh cooler.  Music was on par and it was 1 of the best behaved crowds ah see for the season.  Live performances to speak of was Fya Empress/ Mr Fusion  and Double M minus that PYF shit.  Beenie Man made no sense from start to finish.  Looking forward to it next year.  was definitely 1 of the best parties for the Carnival Season.   Grade A

Summary 

Carnival will always be sweet once you put yourself in position to attend the right fetes that show some level of consistency and respect for the patrons.  This is the 1st year I decided to put my foot down and keep put an “embargo” on any fetes over $650tt.   I believe in getting some kind of value for my money.  No I dont want the ultimate gunta experience, but I eh giving away meh money to white collar guntas either.  There are quality low cost events floating around, you just have to rest back and let them come to you instead of chasing and trying to keep up with the “Joneses”.  As for playing mas Monday and Tuesday, we will be looking for our 3rd band in 5 years.  When yuh cah stay in a stable relationship its often good to look in the mirror to reflect and evaluate yuhself……….but fock that….its not we is them.  Battered Masqueraders Syndrome or BMS is where the numerous bands beat you like a runaway slave year after year and by Carnival Tuesday night the alcohol and music has numbed the pain and the licks didnt seem so bad afterall.  As a matter of fact you think that you love the band more than life itself.  Forget all the hoops that you jumped thru to give the YOUR money.  Forget that you sign to be the best behaved masquerader ever but what do they promise you?  They promise you an “experience”.  An experience which comes with no MASQUERADERS BILL OF RIGHTS.  Something to think about.  After you spend a pound and a crown for a costume; why is it not that perfect prototype you saw at the launch some months back.  Last thing that irked the fock out of me in YUMA……they did those girls in the Apache backline wrong wrong wrong.  Allyuh really give them 2 feathers and expected them to pay more for a “real headpeiece”. Shameless.  And oh yeah when I had to go with the woman to get costume altered and pick up supplies to make it look presentable……..we did see females from other bands having to do the same thing……..buy additional supplies and pay a tailor for adjustments.  Biggup tuh d tailor on Arapita and French.  Finally, the Soca for C2K12 was the best I have experienced in a very long time.  It really carried the carnival vibes to a level that no shit band or should fete could stifle.

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World Premier: Carnival Man Laws

15 10 2007

Ladies, Gentlemen and Others,

                                                              It is long overdue, but now it is finally here.  Rules and reglations for men who participate in any Carnival to follow.  The founding skylarkers of these laws have numerous Carnival notches on their belts and have decided to unleash their knowledge to the lost and confused men who participate in Carnival, or would like to be part of this festive event.  These laws are cross-cultural and can be utilized by the fairer sex if they decide to step out of that tunnel vision known as “Carnival Bazoodeeness”.  “Carnival Bazodeeness” as defined by Whining Kriminals is the state where females lose their sense of self.  All priorities get shoved to the side and they eat, breath and sleep Carnival preparation.  Its all about being a side, front, back and middle line hoe.  This phenemon will be explored at a later date.  Without further delay, we present to you Carnival Man Laws:

  

  • Thou shall ALWAYS have Soca in Yuh Veins…..Soca in Yuh Blood.
  • Thou shalt NOT brandish naval, tongue or nipple rings in public.
  • Thou shall ALWAYS take a wine on Dat….if D Bumper Phat
  • Thou shalt NOT wear Spandex, Bicycle Shorts or Boyshorts.
  • Thou shalt NOT play in same section as wife or girlfriend.
  • Thou shalt NOT consume anything less than 40% alcohol by volume unless its beer andALWAYS have a FULLY loaded Bar.
  • Thou shall ALWAYS fete till sunrise.
  • Thou shalt NOT get bamboozled by the Carnival hype like a female, stay level.
  • Thou shalt NOT attempt to wukkup/whine on a Thick Sauce by thy self.
  • Thou shalt NOT play mas and participate in Carnival for any other reason but for the love of WOMEN, SOCA and RUM.
  • Thou shall ALWAYS acknowledge a Swanky ting wit a soot.