Unoccupy Trinidad and Tobago Carnival

9 12 2011

Take win 1%’ers. Allyuh have secured the realm. I always considered mehself ah working-class Carnival enthusiast because I eh come from money and didntmind putting out a few extra shillings for 2 things, Security and Good Music. Never needed to be in an all-inclusive fete or band because I could eat a proper plate ah food before ah go out and not overhyped “gourmet” cutters in afete……ah could patronize d street vendors and walk wit meh pouch full ah authentic Premium Scotch or Rum. All ah ever need and want is proper Security and competent disc Jockeys to play meh soca. But before I really start ranting like a madman I go say this. The beauty of life is the ability to make changes and have choices. And we from the Caribbean have been blessed with the opportunity to exercise that right although the Colonialistic mentality is still strong like unstrained babash.

I see it suppose to have ah all-inclusive LIME ting going on Carnival Wednesday at Hyatt and from what ah did hear it was around $1000tt – $1200tt last year. Now this year it running from $1200 – $1800tt. Maybe I should quote in US dollars…..$200US – $300US respectively. Now get this. That is General Admission and VIP. So I guessing the whole dynamics change in 11+ months. Allyuh loss allyuh focking marbles in a game a pitch.  Does ah room and 3 girls from Copa come wit dat?

The other set ah mad people is from meh bess fete come Thursday, Beach House. I hear ah rumor dat dey talking bout raising d price tuh $1000tt or $200US and supposedly is to make it more intimate or some shit so. IfI want intimacy i go lock myself up in a room wit meh woman. Oh people complaining bout it had too much people and dey had to wait on line for food and drinks. If allyuh dat hungry do like me and open d gates with the organizers and caters at d start time. I does even help dem bring d food in and set up dey stations. It takes a village and I have no problem lending a hand tuh another human being success.

Last but not least ah going tuh talk about meh bess band last year YUMA. Like allyuh under a SoE? Allyuh doh care bout foreign masqueraders? Maybe allyuh need tuh start quoting in pound sterling. Gone by d mascamp and no costumes on display. So dem foreign woman coming down on a little holidays cah get a little peak of what dey paying $600US+ for? Allyuh large. And what really going on with allyuh Facebook Wall. Was there a plot tuh spam it with Tribe costumes? From what I seeing is only the administrator allowed to post on the Wall. Is so allyuh treating people after 1 year. Young Upward blah blah blah.

Is really these 3 things i wanted tuh touch on and not go into the whole ranting and raving thing because like ah said earlier. We have choices. And sometimes we have to look at why society tun up. Last year I had tuh put meh foot down on meh jouvert band because it have no blance in cost for services being received. This year I was going tuh LIME Wednesday but how much can I really eat and drink in 8 hours tuh justify what ah paying? And worse yet dey live entertainers not up tuh par. I not going tuh d Beach House Thursday either if they shit on deyself and raise dat price. And YUMA doh tink I eh go scalp dat costume wit a profit tuh some bazodee sheep who wat tuh chase down some YUMA fowls.

I am appealing to mostly the FOREIGNERS who drop THOUSANDS of dollars every year to pay homage tuh d greatest Carnival in d World. I am appealing tuh d locals who have the means to attend these big shot fetes. Put allyuh foot down. Look at the world around you and the changes that taking place. Individuals are standing up to the 1% at every corner of the globe. Carnival imitates life. It is a fact to those of us who have a deeper understanding of life. I know its late and money is already invested for 2012. But exercise your right to get value for your money in 2012 and think long and hard about making more changes for 2013 (God Spare Life). Is time tuh stop d 1% from tiefing people head with their nonsense.  1%’ers respond at allyuh own risk.





Fete After Fete After Fete Part II……..Mashing Up Fete Is We Name

24 11 2007

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Thursday January 31st, 2008
 

* Michael Headley’s All Inclusive Fete

Heard great things about this fete and have yet to check it out because of the logistics involved with time and distance.  This is a daytime to late evening affair.   There is also a very popular night affair (UWI Splash) to attend.  MidNight Robber swears by this fete.  This is his take on it:  “After you make the 2+ hour trek to the eastern side of Trinidad, through winding unpaved roads and little villages hidden n the countryside, you arrive at the Estate overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. Food!! Unlimited..drinks…topshelf..unlimited drinks……..did I mention it was topshelf and unlimited.  Patrons even get a little gift as they come through the front.  The crowd is mature with a very nice mix of lively older people and a mature younger crowd. This fete comes highly recommended despite the price tag”.

* Beach House Carnival All Inclusive Fete

This is the other popular daytime to late evening affair.  I have attended this fete and the 1 thing I could say, BAR CANNOT BUSS.  The other thing I could say, they must do better with the food.  Not quality but quantity.  Dat appetizer food station thing they had going on last year nah go work.  Set in the Valleys out in Maracas-St. Joseph off a winding road.  Where cell phone reception is non existent. So calling yuh transportation when its time to go is a lost cause.  You will walk 3 miles back into town to meet yuh transport b/c the narrow road will be blocked off by police for incoming traffic or by people making u turns to head back out.
 

* Alternative Thursdays

Never been, but that Alternative word and Down D Islands doesn’t make me feel comfortable..

* Tribe Ignite

Tribe Fete usually runs up against UWI Splash on Thursday night.  The stoosh Tribe faithfuls will be in attendance. Nothing special here, the usual performers will make their round robin of appearances (i.e. Machel) 

Friday February 1st, 2008
 

* Island People Girl Power

Never went to this thing because of the reported stoosh factor.  Now I have a bit ah stooshness in meh, in that I like to party with civilized folks.  But at d same time I like rell bachannal.  Well supposedly this fete was d sleeper fete last year and it was good. 

* Blue Range Cooler Fete

Never went but hear it suppose to be good.

* Rise All-Inclusive – Never went

* Cooler Fete – Pier 1

This was a yearly pilgrimage for me in my youth.  Nothing better dan taking yuh alcohol on road wit yuh.  But fight after fight after fight is a rell vibes killer.  So this fete was eliminated from my itinerary all together.

International Soca Monarch Finals

Bring yuh crew!!, arm yourself with weapons, and go with a Rambo mentality. It’s survival of the fittest if you are down on the field.  Think 300 Spartans. This event is an All out war set to live Soca music. I have visions of an old 1970’s (yes, I’m showing my age) Gang movie based in NYC called “The Warriors”. Attending Soca Monarch Finals can literally be you and your crew against the world and your job is to make it back to Coney Island alive with everyone in tact. You might lose some members of your crew along the way but that’s the chance you take for fukkin with the wrong crowd.  Every psycho, heartless, criminal minded individual in TnT will be here.  VIP isn’t really VIP being that they are 150 Yards from the front of the stage.  They do get a perfect view of the bacchanal going down on the field though.  They might root for your survival. Ah remember meh pardnas from d old neighborhood telling stories last year of how d bar buss because it was robbed, dey see men in d crowd wit full case ah Stag and ting.  And yeah d brawls in d crowd was like a scene from 300 Spartans.  “Caaaannn youuuu Diggit and Lets get Ready to Rumblllllllle”.   Very appropriate battle cries for this fete.

 

 

 

 

Saturday February 2nd, 2008
 

* Panorama Finals

Pan is sweet.  And people should attend.

* Island Style Insomnia Fete

This fete was the mother of all fetes.  It was the 1 fete that I always looked forward to in Trini.  This fete was the ultimate test of yuh endurance and would verify yuh as a true warrior.  But as the years have passed, this fete has passed my liking.  I have become displeased with the quality of performers and the fighting.  And NO I not going to pay for no overpriced VIP.  Performers would come give yuh a quick ting and den dey gone.  I got use to seeing d sun come up wit Machel performing, last year no sun.  I eh really see no foreign acts either except for the MC from Brooklyn who in Trinidad asking Brooklyn people to show d crowd how Brooklyn people does do it. 

* Trini Posse All-Inclusive Fete

Cute fete, dey look like dey does be having a good time.

* Sunny Side Up All-Inclusive Breakfast Party

Heard it’s a very well put together and intimate fete.

Sunday February 3rd, 2008 (Carnival Sunday)
 

* Moka All-Inclusive Fete

Never been there.

* Brian Lara All-Inclusive Fete

The reports are this is the Bourgoise/Stoosh fete of the Carnival season.  If yuh is somebody, think yuh somebody or want to be somebody, then empty yuh pockets and go push yuh nose up in d air wit yuh people.  Will never see me.  NEVER.

***Coming Soon:  Super Scalpers……Friend or Foe***





Fete After Fete After Fete……..Mashing Up Fete Is We Name

20 11 2007

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First and foremost allyuh need to understand something before I get started.  I is a fella who feel I could talk bout anybody for 2 reasons.  Firstly is that I come from a very diverse background and consider everybody to be my people.   Secondly is because I doh give a shit if people talking bout me once is trute.  So wit dat outta d way who ever get vex could go suck salt and hopefully feel better after dat.  My intent is to give you the readers a very vivid and objective preview of what to expect at the fetes 2 weeks prior to Carnival 2K8 in T&T.  On annodder note, if yuh is a 1st time visitor to T&T, do yuhself a big favor, doh be a chupidee, organize transportation.  T&T is not a tourist oriented society, and transportation rell scare, so either rent yuh own car or hire a reputable taxi service.  Doh feel yuh could catch a cab or mop-a-drop (hitch-hike) from a good Samaritan, yuh go be asking for rell trouble in both instances.  Since the Kriminals are only in T&T for 2 weeks, we will give a review/preview of the fetes during that time period.

 

 

Saturday January 26th, 2008

* Mr. Machel Montano Alternative Concept 6

The man is a boss.  He does mash up any fete and is no doubt the best Soca entertainer in the World, just not at his own show.  I found his performance last year to be mediocre and him to be unprofessional.  Hoe d ass yuh go have a concert and not perform for most of the concert.  Then beg d police for more time because yuh realize yuh short change people.   VIP should stand for Vex I Payed, drinks were watered down and expensive.  By the time you bought 2 drinks yuh had no more chits left for drinks.   But there was ample food and groupies.

 

Sunday January 27th, 2008
* CAREC All-Inclusive

Never went this affair but keep hearing it’s worth the money. 
* Nestle All-Inclusive

Never went this affair but wouldn’t mind getting some free Milo drinks and Condense milk.

Monday January 28th, 2008
* PNM Fete – Balisier House

Meh good lady fren swear by this fete, but all I does picture is a bunch ah ole George Chambers and Eric Williams supporters wining on each other with a Ballisier in dey hand.

 

*Mardi Gras

Nothing special here…you might get a couple of beads reminiscent of New Orleans Mardi Gras Tradition. Usual performers making their round robin of appearances…..i.e. Machel.

 

Tuesday January 29th, 2008

*A.W.O.L

This fete was somewhey up in d bamboo patch heading up Macquaripe.  Yuh parked yuh car on d outside of d compound by security and maxis shuttled yuh in on d bumpiest road in Trinidad.  Ah tink they call d place Tucker Valley or something so.  I is a greedy fella.  Ah had to say dat because it had rell food and rell drinks.  I eh never drink so much Johnny Walker Green in meh life.  Plus ah eat like 4 servings ah saltfish and provisions, that’s right ah said 4 servings.  Is like they put “stay home” in that saltfish for meh because ah never leave in front dat food stand after d first serving.  D vibes was rell nice too.  Good music, quality people and reasonable price.  Ah tink we payed somewhey between $250-$300 TT.  And for the record I did consume somewhey between $250-$300 TT in food and drinks.  Ah was mad we leave a little early because we had to go EWS, and as we leaving D Riddim Section was just rolling in.

* Eyes Wide Shut CARNIVALE

This is always a decent fete and yuh could start feeling the electricity of Carnival approaching from this fete.  D police wasn’t making no joke outside this 1 and had people lining up like in school for assembly every morning.  All who eh listen get send home early.  Ah was a little bun from A.W.O.L fete but I is a wicked fella.  Once my foot touch Trini soil I does go into overdrive.  Funny thing is ah could only remember 2 performances.  Machel and he Caravan and KMC.  Reason why ah remember Jumbie is because he actually performed like somebody was paying him money unlike dat Saturday nite at AC like he was wukking for free.  I is a KMC fan, but dat bawling ting need to be revamped.

* Island Style Glow

Never have been, but when was D last time yuh went a good Glow?  Nuff said.
* Bishops Junior School All-Inclusive Fete

      I eh go a school Bazaar or Frolic in a while, and it go be a bit longer.

 

 

 

 

Wednesday January 30th, 2008
* Bacchanal Wednesday

Well Bachannal Wednesday was bachannal because Destra got plunked in D head and started cussing.  Now I have no problem with Destra, I love D woman as a performer.  Ah actually rank she 2nd to Jumbie as far as my favorite performers.  But after she got plunked by some drunk white boy, she went into this whole long dissertation of how it hard to be a woman in D business and performing on D stage.  Dat sour meh.  She shoulda get off D stage and show dat fella wat part ah Laventille she from.  Bachannal Wednesday is good because D performers for some strange reason does give yuh they best performance.   Maybe it because the majority of patrons at this fete are the “fairer” class of T&T. 
* Customs Boys Fete

Last 3 years I have been offered free tickets to go this fete and last 3 years I have said NO.  Custom Fete….AKA..Ole Nigga Fete….as some people so eloquently described.  Definitely one of the less expensive fetes during Carnival week are conveniently located near Hasley Crawford Stadium.  The facility is definitely one of the “less intimate” outdoor venues. Making your way to the front of the stage is reminiscent of an old Atari 2600 game called pitfall.  You must hop over mud pits, ravines, canals, and through all sorts of bush to make it to a stage where you will proceed to jump up and whine in dirt and garbage.  By the time the fete done, people will think yuh juss played jouvert.  If you dare to get in with the locals, refrain from the sexy clothes…cause you will be throwing it away afterwards.

 

**Part II Coming Soon**