In Search of A$$

13 11 2007


In Search of ASS

So being the typical man with a one track mind, my level of interest in mas costumes and their presentation is questionable.  I often miss the point and I make no excuses for it.  Why is that? Probably because I don’t care.  Hell, I’m part Bamsee Hauler, so what do you expect.  I know, you might get the impression I’m not embracing my culture but that’s not true.  A carnival is a small microcosim in every island’s overall culture, so missing the point on a microcosim is irrelevant on a whole.

So what exactly is my purpose for perusing dozens of galleries of band launchings and the band sites???? To figure out which band is putting the most ass on the road!!  Hell, I’m spending $400 to join a band for the trifecta of Drinks, Soca and Women.  So, its In my best interest I do my research on the women.  I already know what I’m drinking and with regards to the soca, I’ll probably hear Machel Montano’s “Whining Season” 1,378 times over the course of 2 days on the road. 

So I peruse all the sites and galleries, carefully looking and analyzing these women and the costumes.   Which band showing the most flesh? who offering the most thongs? Where the wire bras? So, while doing this research, I look at these models and ask myself….where’s the ass?.  Where are the real women!!  Can I get some curves.  Can these mas people represent the women that will really dominate the female population of your respective bands?

I mean really, what the hell is this!!!???  Who hired this model and why? is this even a woman??


This costume gives you the impression that flesh will be exposed but dammit, she’s not doing this design justice.  Hell, this one embarrasses the slim women.  Anyway, Im going to get off my soap box for a minute and pay homage to my top 5 TNT band launch and gallery models for the upcoming 2k8 carnival season.

#5, this Evolution Model on the left. Yes..she is slim, but slim women can have ass too.  Granted,  there are some characteristics to this picture that gets this model at #5 and I realize that she can be as misleading as a padded bra.  For starters, they say pictures add 10 lbs to your frame so in truth, she might really be a toothpick with small balloons attached to her backside. She standing at a good angle that make her look thicker.  She also makes the effort to stick out her ass adds to the effect.  The gold tint on her body helps this apparent thickness as well.  Despite all that, she still makes my honor roll based on effort.


This fine specimen from Dream Team gets #4.  Doesn’t have the bubble like #5, but she’s thicker, nice lookin skin, body tight, waist, hips and no misleading poses or lighting tricks.  This one have a nice bamcee despite the lack of that “bubble”. She will have alot of fans on the road.


#3 hails from Tribe. There is no denying the bubble ass we have here since she is standing upright.  Its shaped like a big watermelon and it extends through the hips and thighs. Every thing this woman put on her ass will look like a thong because of its shape.  She will catch a lot of fellas off guard b/c of her pretty face. They will approach her from the front and then get floored when they get behind her for a whine.  She is going to have problems peeling fellas off her backside.


#2 comes from DreamTeam as well.  Found this specimen in the costume gallery. Now this my friends is a real woman. Tall, leggy, hips and Azz for DAYS. It looks like it has a giggle to it that will make any man stare and drool uncontrollably.  Other women will marvel at this ass and secretly take photos of her backside.  She will be envied by most women and lusted after by all men (and those same women  taking the pictures but that’s another story in itself).  When fellas pose to take a picture of her, they will insist she turn around.  They will drop to their knees, then proceed to put their faces next to her ass with their tongue sticking out. This will be a common photo position for this woman.


And #1 is a natural wonder that comes to you from Genesis. She’s so thick you can see it from the front.  She will need bodyguards on the road. Men will stalk her, waiting for an opportunity to tief a wine.  People will reach out just to touch it.  They want to see if its real. There will be fights on the road over this woman. She will be a YouTube star b/c everyone will switch their cameras from safe mode to video mode and proceed to post her all over the internet on Ash Wednesday.  You can rest your drink on her backside.  People might mistake her backside for one of the music trucks and there will be a crowd running behind her during the las lap.  Some poor soul will confess his undying love and propose to this woman on the road.  This woman’s ass wont quit! There isn’t enough adjectives to describe how beautiful this thing is. So whats the first place prize for this woman???  Acknowledgement on a Blog she’ll never ever see.




My fellow bamsee haulers get ready!! because we know that nothing beats a thick woman on the road. Don’t get me wrong, we love all woman and the slender women shouldn’t feel any lack of love.  Hell, they gets all the love…just look in the same galleries I did.  

Now that I’ve finished surfing the galleries and launch photos,  I can go back to doing some productive internet research and download some high quality porn from

Midnight Robber!!