Carnival 2K12 Review: Foreigners Fly Down Tuh Party Til Dey Lie Down

24 05 2012

Wanted to wait and really marinate d past season in the deepest consciousness of meh mind before giving feedback.  I am going to do something different this year too.  Just straight to the point and no long explanation, just a grade and a brief summary.


Thursday @ Hilton poolside was magnificent.  A gunta free cooler fete for $120tt with the DJs only flinging tune afte tune after tune.  The live entertainment by Shal, TC and Swappi was decent and not overkill.  Grade A

Friday @ La Barge was surprisingly pleasant.  Last minute thing and we just roll with it.  Music was d best.  The crowd was very well behaved.  Fireworks when in soca feteing bliss…….priceless.  Probably not going back next year because by them EVERYBODY and they mother go want to go and it will be ruined.  Grade A

Friday @ Girl Power.  Time to cremate and bury that fete.  Never going back.  Music was pumping down by d Oval and dem playing music wit tweeters at Jenny’s carpark.  And i had enough of listening to that annoying host.  Grade D

Saturday @ Eclipze.  The Best.  Grade A++

Sunday @ Shades.  Breakfast options was below average.  Crowd was good.  Music was good except for the lapses during the foreign act live performance.  Bar did not bust but needs some 1919 in dey.  Moments of niceness but needs that extra push.  Grade B

Jouvert and Pretty Mas

We had decided way in advance since all dem changes was going on in POS with restrictions in St Clair and Woodbrook that we would only play Jouvert  IF a band decided to head down in the West tuh avoid a gunta feeding frenzy.  And as good fortune would have it Red Antz was dat band.  Pay we money and get we credentials.  Gather down by d Base……paint, rum and music ready.  Niceness.  Was a little different but with at least 1000 people out dey and 5 civilized stormers, nothing beats feeling safe on a Jouvert morning.  Might be too good to be true to do 2 years in row but it was a good time.   Grade A

Monday and Tuesday with YUMA  bad Vibes.  There was 3 hours for costume pickup, which sadly enough I use to, but  the end of the line for me is when I have to take needle and thread to fix mas clothes.  They actually focked up a pair of focking pants……..pants stupes.   The females costumes were made of cheap material and poorly constructed.  The overwhelming presence of aggressive homosexual men.  The rest stop debacle on BOTH days.  So in summary, piss poor band management, substandard costumes and more bullamen than than Greenidge Village.  Give people what they pay for and if you are catering for a “special” demographic  let people know in advance so they can choose if they want to be part of that movement.  Good luck in 2013.  Grade D-

After Carnival Cool Down

Dwight Yorke Soca Beach Party @ Pigeon Point Beach.  This was d Saturday after Carnival in Tobago and I was going just because ah was across dey.  Not into the celebrity themed parties overall but it turned out much better than expected.  Location was top class and yuh could bring yuh cooler.  Music was on par and it was 1 of the best behaved crowds ah see for the season.  Live performances to speak of was Fya Empress/ Mr Fusion  and Double M minus that PYF shit.  Beenie Man made no sense from start to finish.  Looking forward to it next year.  was definitely 1 of the best parties for the Carnival Season.   Grade A


Carnival will always be sweet once you put yourself in position to attend the right fetes that show some level of consistency and respect for the patrons.  This is the 1st year I decided to put my foot down and keep put an “embargo” on any fetes over $650tt.   I believe in getting some kind of value for my money.  No I dont want the ultimate gunta experience, but I eh giving away meh money to white collar guntas either.  There are quality low cost events floating around, you just have to rest back and let them come to you instead of chasing and trying to keep up with the “Joneses”.  As for playing mas Monday and Tuesday, we will be looking for our 3rd band in 5 years.  When yuh cah stay in a stable relationship its often good to look in the mirror to reflect and evaluate yuhself……….but fock that….its not we is them.  Battered Masqueraders Syndrome or BMS is where the numerous bands beat you like a runaway slave year after year and by Carnival Tuesday night the alcohol and music has numbed the pain and the licks didnt seem so bad afterall.  As a matter of fact you think that you love the band more than life itself.  Forget all the hoops that you jumped thru to give the YOUR money.  Forget that you sign to be the best behaved masquerader ever but what do they promise you?  They promise you an “experience”.  An experience which comes with no MASQUERADERS BILL OF RIGHTS.  Something to think about.  After you spend a pound and a crown for a costume; why is it not that perfect prototype you saw at the launch some months back.  Last thing that irked the fock out of me in YUMA……they did those girls in the Apache backline wrong wrong wrong.  Allyuh really give them 2 feathers and expected them to pay more for a “real headpeiece”. Shameless.  And oh yeah when I had to go with the woman to get costume altered and pick up supplies to make it look presentable……..we did see females from other bands having to do the same thing…… additional supplies and pay a tailor for adjustments.  Biggup tuh d tailor on Arapita and French.  Finally, the Soca for C2K12 was the best I have experienced in a very long time.  It really carried the carnival vibes to a level that no shit band or should fete could stifle.


I Have Returned……Ah Must Come Back……Carnival Dun and It eh Even Start Yet

20 02 2011

No I eh talking bout d Stage coming back after 4 years. I eh talking bout Machel and Destra return after missing last year to make a baby and I still eh know what he was doing last Carnival dat he eh perform. I talking bout me Canboulay. Alluh must be wondering why no blogging. Well mankind have a life dat does get hectic and sometimes dis Carnival ting does get repetitive and blah. Well until yuh reach d starting point again…….or is it really the finish line.

As of yesterday all things are in order for the Greatest Show on Earth.  Fetes, Jouvert and Pretty Mas. What been on meh mind d past week or so is that I can already feel the anxiety of carnival Tuesday night when everything done. Allyuh know dat empty and disgusting feeling? The human brain is sumting else eh. I trying tuh figure out if is because Carnival run late dis year or if is some kinna mental illness. Well I feel is madness. Dis Carnival business is pure madness. Allyuh mad and I juss a little 1/2 mad because unlike allyuh I can evaluate my madness.  So I want allyuh tuh dig deep and think about dis cycle of madness dat we have been repeating for years to determine if its worth it.  For the Carnival rookies there is still hope.  Cancel allyuh flight and sell dat costume before it too late.  Can you deal with mourning for a Carnival that on paper not even in full swing yet?  Well I still mourning fuh d Carnival  miss and d 1 wey I was dey and eh play mas.  Well enough of dis mind focking mumbo jumbo.  Meh main point is dat put in 1000% percent effort into enjoying dis Carnival 2011.  Life short and the time flies.


Hear nah dis 2011 on paper has d potential tuh be 1 of d greatest in a very long time.  Allyuh see how much quality tunes dem woman and man give we fuh dis season.  If yuh doh have a clue den yuh forfeit yuh rights to participate in dis Carnival.  Ah cah remember d last time ah see so much good tunes from early in d season.  Besides looking forward to a few select fetes and Jouvert……….d stage is in front of us time tuh get advantageous……..Machel know how tuh capitalize and tief masqueraders heads eh.  D return of d stage should be the most anticipated moment for Carnival 2011.  Ah was hearing a rumor dat a new band calling demself YUMA have/had intentions of not crossing d stage to avoid wateva d fock dey trying tuh avoid.  Yuh doh run away from d stage.  Yuh run tuh d stage full speed ahead.  Yuh will set up base camp on Charlotte and Park Streets as long as it takes tuh cross dat friggin stage.  Ah know some ah allyuh remember hours in d hot sun den crossing in night dew.  Yuh never tort how sweet it be reminiscing on dat when yuh was vex as hell back den eh.  Any band who take God and common sense out of dey mind and decide tuh skip crossing d Savannah stage committing band suicide.  Speaking of band suicide Spice still have a band?  Never underestimate d power of d masqueraders.  Yuh could only shit on people but so much before dey start pelting it back in yuh face.  But I dun.


On a personal level I really looking forward tuh d start h my Carnival season.  Is like d start of a new year fuh me.  Endless memories with family and friends.  Freedom from d everyday grind.  Imagine all dem days wey yuh only job and responsibility is to get drunk and dance till yuh cah move.  But like meh pardna say as much as yuh drinking always know yuhself tuh be able tuh function in a safe and responsible manner.  There is a life after d madness calm down.  Oh shit ah forgt tuh tell allyuh about Jouvert (Foreday Morning) in Barbados last summer.  It was BESS.  Never enjoyed a monsoon before.  Ah have a few more tings on meh mind and might blog some more in d next few days.  Walk safe.

Jewels de Carnaval Section Launch Pictures for Notting Hill 2010 Carnival

10 05 2010

Jewels de Carnaval Section Launch for Notting Hill 2010 Carnival

28 04 2010

Get Ready to put Bumper to Fender


Jewels de Carnaval – Section Launch – OCEANIA

Monday 3rd May 2010 (BANK HOLIDAY)

4:00pm – 11:00pm (live models in costume presentation)

ACE Fusion Restaurant, 110 St. John’s Hill, Battersea, London, SW11 1SJ

£5.00 entry only / £10.00 entry and light refreshment & non alcoholic drink

Entertainment: Soca Prince-Martin Jay of Choice FM, Jazzie D, Dj Bliss & Remi D

Train: Clapham Junction / Buses: 639, 337, 156, 170, 39, 87, 670, 37, N87

Front Line & Regular options… and a special front line costume option for the daring among us!
Deposits and registrations will be accepted on launch night :: Secure payments can be made via Pay Pal on the website after the launch – (Deposit – £40 regular & male / £60 front line)

Check the site for more info…. (costume photos will be up after the launch)

We look forward to seeing you – Bank Holiday 3rd May to push it back and start to wine!

!!! PASS IT ON !!!

Contact Information
Main Email:
Phone: +44 (0) 7791 650284 (UK)

Cyah believe it’s Tribe Tribe Tribe Tribe…

15 03 2010

So yes allyuh I have returned to Tribe after a brief 2 year hiatus.  Making children does put a lil pause on things like mas and galavanting and drinkin…well…for some of us. Anyway, I was a little hesitant for a couple reasons. For one I have reluctantly tortured myself by viewing pictures and videos of Tribe during my missed years and the band seemed to have gotten monstrously large. Ah mean looking like a massive Poison mess! Where had my “no more than 3000 masqueraders” band gone? Surely that could not be them crossing that judging point camera for hours! Maybe the camera was just adding on weight to the band I convinced myself…surely that is not the Tribe I know! With that thought pushed to the back of my mind I proceeded preparing for registration.

Unlike allyuh men, I need a little more than an appropriate color board shorts and a wrist band. So, along with the rest of the fanatics I was poised for registration in July…my finger was on the mouse trigger ready to secure my costume that I had already chosen. Sad to say folks, as I logged on in those first moments of registration and it was reminiscent of 2004 when sections were sold out within SECONDS of the start of registration. So here we are with this so called TLC registration and my section of choice is sold out. I shook my head as I already knew of several people who had never even played with Tribe before, yet they were already registered and well comfortable in meh band. Big fat forkin steups. I have no problem with pre registration, and friends and family registration, and de registration of registration, but when yuh fillin up de band with a set of nevaseecomesees ahead of yuh loyal masqueraders I feel dat is shit! Anywho, as I believe in stickin to the evil that I know vs the unknown I went ahead and registered in one of my alternate sections. That and all was a next bachannal as the online payment system was not working. But if you know me you will know that something like a system glitch will not keep me away from my mas. I will not even get deep into all of that. There are places and people that getting deep into the nitty grity of every crevice of their experience. I sure allyuh bloggers familiar with them so I will spare you. I have meh mas secure…leh we fast forward what seemed like a million months as I waited….and waited….and waited…and waited…for carnival time to come.

So…the time reach, I reach Trinidad, and I organize to go retrieve meh mas. Up that forkin hill again to Cascadia we go, cash in hand. I went on a day that was not assigned to me so I expected a little wait. After we park and approach, we start to hear some soca…GREAT! There was a tent to get a number, a next tent where people were sitting and waiting to be called…a next tent where they were selling boots, little purses to match yuh mas, and handheld breathalyzers to help yuh predict how de breathalyzer traps would handle you. Good stuff! Stepped inside to the bar with my family and had a couple drinks…that was great. Ok…ummm…I still waiting. No scene…everything moving smoothly. Go inside, pay off balance, go to the next spot, pick up meh mas…check out the contents…NICE! Next step go get meh wrist band. The man asks me if this is my first year playing with Tribe. PAUSE! “uhmmmmm, thought we never got past TLC registration?” He smirk, then laugh, then mumble, then continue giving me directions. Steups…Was I laughing? Okay I was drinking…maybe I was…lol. Moving right along…lol. I have meh things…everything looked as pictured…I ready…gone now…wait…is that Anya Yeongchoungsuckprick? I thought she was an IPer…nah…cyah be she…leh we go allyuh….oh…we can’t go yet. We need Tribe Ignite TLC tickets…these tickets have been coming since Jesus was a little boy. Tell me why de ass I have to wait for TLC tickets…sell me de forkin tickets yuh have for de tlc price and let me go meh way nah!  I have done all kinda thing and the tickets ent reach yet. Steups. Have a next drink…that makes all things better! As I start to see the bottom of the drink the tickets reach…we get what we have to get and we gone. All’s well that ends well.

Carnival Monday, reach the band by the Savannah…hit the drinks truck on some side road…think they were waiting for me. Go meet the band…they are about to cross….oh fork…they really playing Palance? Grrrrrrrr I am already irritated with the brainwash push of this song. I do a half hearted Palance across the judging road area and eagerly await that song to turn off. I was very excited that they only played this song at judging points and not constantly on the road.  The crowd was manageable on Monday. I had no problem getting drinks. The first truck seemed to have the best music but the journey to the damn wee wee truck was a mission…especially when yuh get a next drink when yuh come out…before yuh make it to the front it’s time to go to the back again…what a pain in de ass!  I think we ended kinda early on Monday. Or it could be the carnival jumbie in me that didn’t want it to end! L Needless to say I had quite a bit of time to get a good night’s sleep in preparation for Tuesday.

Tuesday morning was the earliest I have EVER met the band. Must have been all that sleep! Everybody looked nice…okay ah lying…plenty people did not look nice atall. If I thought my belly was dragging on de ground, some ah dem belly was cleaning up behind the band…omg.  Anyway…what stunned me was the amount of FRONLTINE or INDIVIDUAL MALES. Wha de fork…I never know is so much man wanted to wear all dat gosh! I could not believe my eyes. WOW! We go have to dedicate a next session to discuss that. I am still a bit disturbed.  Anyway, luckily there was some nice eye candy working their way through the band too. Mmmm…good job fellas…de gym and I thank you. I had to actually whip out the old camera a couple times…sometimes I had to tell dey woman get in de damn picture too because some of allyuh woman does cut yuh eye like if I gonna stop playin mas to take yuh man home with me. Hello! Get a grip dahlins…I have my own I just doh walk him on a leash carnival time! I really wonder about some of allyuh sometime. SMFH

Anyway…I would now like to present the jokiest male costume award to….drumroll please…well, there’s a tie. This award will have to go to Habotai male with Rajastan male coming in a close second. Who idea was it to put these men in hot pink and black for a carnival Tueday? Who?!?!? Black is wicked enough in that hot sun…but then pink? And they change the prototype to boot? So the men went from a plain black pants, to a pink, grey and black pants? Oh gosh…meh belly! And that Doti only option for rajastan? OMG I think I have said enough. Allyuh men need to stand up for your rights! Dat is rhell shit!!!! Somebody tell me only real men does wear pink…bullshit. Dat was de dotish line she must be tell she man to convince him dat foolishness was a good idea! LMAO Oh gosh. I still laughing over them 2 male sections all now. Oui!

Anyway, all in all I had a time. If allyuh lookin fuh play by play, chip by chip wine by wine…uhm…go book a forkin ticket. I look like I memorizing thing for your benefit or wha? I have one gripe though. I vex allyuh run out of water Tuesday night. Wha is dat one? WASA providing de bottled water too or what? Fix up Tribe. I never know allyuh to run out of anything so I will take this as a slight glitch in de system. Yuh eh run out of meh 1919 so we still cool. Fix dat water thing fuh next year though please and thanks. De afterparty vibe was cool. Meh fadda ask me how much good time I could have…I tell him as much as I pay for! Thanks for de lil cooldown session. It’s a shame that the asses I spoke about in my previous post had to carry on disorderly outside the thing and spoil it though. I hope that does not discourage you from continuing this for next year.

Overall I will give Tribe a B+. Allyuh need to shrink that band! Lickerishness does run yuh belly…recognize that from now and prevent yuh bottom from burning you later! Sweet Ting say so! Bless!

We come out to wine…dey come out to stab

23 02 2010

Alright…so…carnival is over and the tabanka is setting in and of course there is plenty to discuss. Of course we must speak on the music and the fetes and the road. But I am not starting there. People want to talk about costume and who eh get in dey section and who pull dey feathers and whole set ah caca. For my beginning I want to discuss the end and address some of allyuh fellas that seem to have NO FORKIN BEHAVIOR!!!!!!

Now…I was on the road Monday and Tuesday and witnessed, as usual, an abundance of beautiful women on de road barely dressed. Lawd they could give people a complex! Anywho, as usual the man to woman ratio is ridiculous! Plenty men have gotten a clue and have started to play mas to take part on de endless buffet of bam bam rolling. However, it seems like some ass clowns still cyah take a forkin hint and instead of drinkin and jamming a woman they looking to come out and cause problems fuh people! Tell me why it’s Tuesday night, I wining low, jamming on my man in de road afterparty…head feeling nice…DJ’s only saying we goin till morning…we goin till morning…next ting braps…uhm…de authorities have requested that we shut down. Huh? Shut down? Why?!?!? Well let me tell you why. Some forkin clowns decide that instead of jamming on woman they would be more excited stabbing man! Seriously? Allyuh just idle so? Who de fack does that? Excuse meh French Spanish and Portugese eh but them idiots need a good knife stab in dey bottom hole because who de fork does decide to come out and start to stab up people just so? Yuh not robbing. Yuh not fighting fuh yuh woman. Yuh just feel to come stab people? St. Ann’s was fully booked carnival time or wha? Imagine you wining wit no behavior and next thing you look down and blood pouring out just so carnival Tuesday night. Dat is NOT de ending anybody is looking for! We come out to have fun and man come out to stab. Bun out dem assholes yes. Literally need to throw some oil and light dey ass on forkin fire! I am so vex as I write this. I tried to wait a lil bit before I addressed this but just thinking of it I am vex all over again! Dat is rhell shit! Three people were said to be stabbed in the area. I know of one for sure. One and all is too many!!!!!!!!! My request to allyuh idle men dat feel yuh to “manly” to play mas…stay yuh manly ass at home on Carnival Monday and Tueday.

Doh come cocking up yuh dutty pelvis lookin fuh wine when my band pass. Doh stretch yuh nasty manly hand pass de ropes trying to grasp my costumed bottom. And doh come looking to fight with the men who have sense enough to pay they money and have a nice time. Stay home and wine up and caress yuh knife and gun. Give them a hard wine and a jook and when de night falls…have yuh way with dem.

This is Sweet Ting and I am signing off…I will be back with my reviews of de music fetes and de road fuh 2010. Bless up!

Looking Forward Tuh: FALL OUT FETE……Friends Are Long Lasting

25 01 2010