Time Tuh Wine Again in 2K10: Ducking Yuh Woman Fuh Carnival

7 01 2010

Ah have a confession tuh make.  Since I started this blog there has been a change and ah have been living a lie.  Past few years ah have been playing mas wit meh woman.  BUT fuh 2010 ah going back to d ways of d manlaws.  Carnival ManLaw #5 states:  ” Thou shalt NOT play in same section as wife or girlfriend” and I have gone against the brotherhood from island to island and state to state.  But today I say no more.  Ah liberating meh waist again fuh d 2 thousand and 10.  So Ah come up with a few excuses tuh hit she wit as to why ah not going Carnival again or to stop she from going……….. but she eh go know  go be jamming down d road in Port of Spain while she up here in d cold.  #1 is mine feel free tuh use it and ah added 9 more.  If we fellas eh look out fuh each other nowadays is pure sufferation and salt.

  • [s]Wine Flu pronounced small wine flu not to be confused with Swine Flu.  This is meh fool proof excuse.  Baby I in d hospital and dey say ah have Swine Flu.  I have to be on medication fuh d next 10 days and have tuh stay quarantined in d house.  Oh gosh baby ah sorry but we go make it thru dis.  Fellas dis 1 is a winner and if yuh worried bout long distance calls……….Magic Jack and “loss” yuh cellphone.  Here is the link http://www.magicjack.com/7/index.asp and all yuh need is a internet connection.  Yuh go ketch plenty small wine wit dis plan.
  • Call Homeland Security and report she as an enemy combatant who looking to go train in d hills of Mt St Benedict with Al Qaeda monks to come back America tuh cause catastrophic damage
  • Have 1 of yuh police friends that she dont know visit her and tell she that you witnessed a murder and was taken into protective custody until things blow over in a few days
  • Surprise I got the promotion.  Bad news is that I will be away training for the next 10 days and wont be able to call often.  But tuh make it up we could take a little run away fuh d weekend when ah reach back from training.
  • Pay one ah yuh frens tuh lock she in d soundproof basement with enough food fuh 2 weeks.
  • Get “kidnapped” d week before allyuh suppose to leave and send she video wit yuh pardnas posing as kidnappers who using yuh computer expertise to crack some government database and dey go kill yuh if she even blink at a police.
  • Feed she some brooklax dat go keep she on d bowl fuh 2 days and convince she dat she go make a standby flight d next day and yuh go be waiting fuh she
  • Throw away she passport d night before allyuh leaving and convince but d standby flight again knowing damn well all dem flights overbooked.
  • Take a business trip outta state or better yet d country and get into an “accident” wey dey pronounce yuh dead or cah find yuh body and dey eh go be able to ship yuh body back home fuh a couple ah days.
  • Start hearing voices and talking back to dem.  Den get yuh family tuh do an intervention where yuh get committed into d madhouse…………


Baby if yuh read dis is not really me writing dis is dese damn voices in meh head………wait…..wat yuh juss say dey Camboulay? 8)