We Wining Again Fuh Carnival 2K10: Breathalyzer Pressure

5 01 2010

Major Issue For C2K10

Wais d rell scene with this Breathalyzer law people .  Word on d streets  is dat  mankind could only drink 2 beer.  What about womankind?  Is 2 Shandy fuh dem?  I been searching to see what the legal  Blood Alcohol Content limit set by this new legislation.  But ah better off trying tuh find a headcount fuh d number of people actually registered with Spice.  But dat is anodder story.  It never ceases to amaze me how the  d primary focus of TnT government is tuh always keep d people ignorant and uninformed.  So anybody who could direct meh to d law online or in d papers or even a pamphlet drop meh a line.  No ah not going tuh d Red House tuh look fuh it.  Bout 2 friggin beers.  I does have at least 4 fuh breakfast.  Stupes.  So wat will drinkers like mehself do fuh d Carnival season.  Well we WILL be drinking.

Understand this………..true drinkers know when tuh start and when tuh stop.  True drinkers know dey LIMITS.  True drinkers do NOT get behind the wheel of a vehicle drunk.  That 2 beer limit is kakahole thinking………yes is kakaholes running d government………2 beers fuh ah 150 pound man/woman is different fuh a 200 pound man/woman.  Alcohol tolerance will differ from person to person.  2 beers is like a small cup of orange juice fuh men who does drink Puncheon, Alcolada Lotion, Limacol and Bay Rum.  So let we have a quick recap………we dont know what the legal Blood Alcohol Level should be since it have not been published and we drinking responsibly anyway.  So what is d master plan.  D plan is tuh let d system beat itself.  Last check dem take too long to test d 1st and only suspected drunk driver.

1) There will be roadblocks and traffic will be backed up…………pull over tuh d side ah d road and get out of d driver seat……….sleep until d police gone.  If dey approach yuh vehicle tell dem yuh designated driver abandon yuh and yuh doing d responsible ting by not driving.  As far as I know is only drunk driving if yuh driving d car while drunk.

2)  If a lie detector can be beaten den a Breathalyzer machine could get fool too.  There are some special breathing exercises that yuh might be able to pick up in yoga, deep-sea diving or kung-fu training.  If the machine can’t get a proper reading den yuh safe.

3)  Vomit and/or tutu yuhself when d police stop yuh and tell dem yuh eh feeling too good.  With this strategy yuh might end up in St Anns and miss Carnival all together so watch yuh self.  I go either repulse dem or make dem madda dan dat.  And remember doh tell dem “Ahhhm not drunk so haul yuh khunt”

4)  Fete withing walking distance tuh yuh bed, Dont Drink or Have d 2 beers limit like a little gal.

5) Hire an extremely reliable driver who doh fete and only looking tuh make money fuh d season.

6) For those who realize meh list dotish yuh could buy a home Breathalyzer machine for $60-$80 US dollars and be safe rather than sorry.  Here is a link http://www.bestbuy.com/site/BACtrack+-+Select+Breathalyzer/9558935.p?skuId=9558935&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=9558935&ref=06&loc=01&id=1218124206611

7) Be Smart and Unselfish…………. Drink Responsibly and Arrive Alive

Next:  Meh Woman Tink Ah Home But Ah Out Dey On D Streets:  Ducking Yuh Woman Fuh Wining Season

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4 responses

5 01 2010
Get-On-Er

B lood
A lcohol
C ontent level…..

the start of BACchanal

just sayin…..

7 01 2010
Canboulay

only a real drinker would come up wit dat dis quick

7 01 2010
mimi

you know,meh friend tell me you can just eat salted peanuts and it supposed to come up as error…but make sure is salted eh! not honey roasted! SALTED..

7 01 2010
Canboulay

when i was writing dis i did a little research and there was mention of some kinna charcoal tablet that lowers your BAC slightly. But no joke last year 2 cold coconut water sober meh up in like 5 minutes flat………ah might need a scientist tuh look into dis

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