Incompetent People Mas Presents: Hell on Earth C2K9 in Trinidad

18 03 2009

Famous last words: “We are all about celebrating and taking care of our masqueraders.” and “The masquerader playing with us can expect an all-inclusive band, exceptionally good catering services, high security, among other amenities.”





Customer Service and Costumes Fiasco

Allyuh was so nice during registration eh.  So easy tuh tief people head wit niceness when money passing.  Fast focking forward to Friday d 13th 2009.  A very appropriate date fuh allyuh friggin evil no good fockers.  Meh brother was down dey wit he people when d doors open.  When he see how slowly tings was progressing he call and say tuh come down ASAP because payment and costume pickup was moving slower dan molasses.  We get down dey around 1 and IF YUH SEE LINE.  Line tuh pay balance and LINES tuh pick up costumes.  Now last year we was in and out in no more dan 30 minutes.  This year we was dey fuh 3 1/2 hours.  Now is d small tings yuh does appreciate bout living abroad eh……..and yuh doh realize it till yuh go back home and deal wit folks who doh understand what Customer Service comprises of.  Imagine a simple ting as having like 6 IP representatives outside tuh let people know exactly where d lines are officially.  Imagine “Joe” who just get off Bwee flight 300 from Queens telling people “Aye allyuh dis is a new line over here”.  Now what happens when there is chaos no authorities in place……..tempers start to flare.  Ah was a bit concerned to see how some ah dese women was behaving like some rell jaggabats.  Trowing words fuh each other fuh rell nonsense.  But d sad ting is dat it was nonsense dat could have been avoided if Customer Service Representatives of IP was monitoring d lines.  All this is totally unacceptable to me.  Its sad dat people have grown so accustom to this shit service and act like if it normal………no allyuh thusty bazodee carnival jumbies…… not normal and it not right.  After yuh drop $400-$600 on a band that make promises tuh yuh dey suppose to fulfill those promises and at least PRETEND dat dey care about yuh.  


Stormers and T-Shirt Masqueraders


What do they have in common?   Neither of them belong playing “Pretty Mas” but were actively participating throughout the band.  Ah go address d T-Shirt Masqueraders first.  During d week ah did hear a whisper bout there being a t-shirt section in d band or something so.  This is when ah realize ah wasn’t going to be playing mas in dis band again.   How dare allyuh sell people costumes to play in what has been traditionally a full costume band and den when sales eh looking too good allyuh decide tuh move like some sprangers and start having a t-shirt sale……………shameful.  And fuh u idiots who decided tuh play mas in a t-shirt………ah hope allyuh didnt leave foreign tuh come Trini tuh profile like some focking snub nose jackasses because ah allyuh insecurity tuh wear ah costume.  What make allyuh so special.  This is what playing mas has evolved into…….this is the kinna mas dat allyuh trying to establish.  It bad enough we does have to accept d watered down version of we culture in foreign because of different circumstances………….but this is not what people does come TNT Carnival for…………again……….SHAME ON ALLYUH.    


As fuh d stormers.  What yuh pay for is wat yuh get as far as Security is concerned.  D funniest description I see online was somebody on facebook saying it was CPEP workers dey hire (nuttin against d decent CPEP workers but reality is dere is a criminal element within this government program).  Rewind Carnival Monday behind Truck #6……..Security start wining on a female masquerader who walks away……….another security sees this and talk tuh d fella bout it…….his body language doesnt look like he care and he bolts tuh wine behind another female masquerader.  After dis he is asked by ah guessing ah Supervisor wit a SWAT hat on tuh stop…….mr man take off he jersey and start screwing he face……..dey ask him tuh leave d band and he seem resistant.  I eh stick arrung tuh see d rest but ah guessing he did leave eventually.  Rewind Carnival Friday I at d barbershop getting a cut and overhear some fellas talking bout going to some meeting in regards to some security work for this other popular mas band.  Now dese fellas are hustlers and not trained security professionals.  Meh point is wat yuh pay for is what yuh get.  I suspect in order to maximize profits mas bands will not hire trained security professional……..but Joe Blow who looking fuh a quick hustle and a few free wines.  So dais why it had stormers and from another facebook testimonial……..pickpockets and woman fighters in d band.  So lewwe repeat…..wat yuh pay for is wat yuh get.  Maximize profits while endangering yuh masqueraders.  D 1 ting dat MOST important fuh me during Carnival besides rum and fun is my life………..not me and allyuh again nah.



Drinks and Food


Not ah single complaint bout d alcohol.  But dey did run out of non-alcoholic beverages including d ever so life sustaining H2O.  Come nah man.  Allyuh is suppose to be a premier all-inclusive band and alyuh running out ah ting.  Wat ah bunch ah jokers.  


Food.  I eh looking fuh no fancy big shot meal on d road.  All mankind want is sumtiing pleasant tuh keep d body going.  Carnival Monday food start sharing somewey as we start approaching QRC.  Gone tuh collect food and is only pure chaos.  reach food truck now and d woman saying “it have no more rice”.  Now I looking arrung and is not like everybody eating………but wey all d rice gone.  So now all dey have is stew chicken.  I is a man does eat fuh survival when on d road so I take d chicken.  But hear nah……..dat chicken was rell stale.  Ah shame tuh tell allyuh ah eat dat crap.  Carnival Tuesday reach now.  We now heading down Fredrick Street and ah see food start sharing.  But ah coulda swear dey say lunch was sharing 4pm on both days.  It no way close tuh 4pm.  No scene.  We collect we food and find ah spot opposite Woodford Square to eat…….yeah apparently dat was d lunch spot.  Now some ah allyuh might not have been exposed tuh Guyanese Rice (doh take dis too person GT people we love allyuh gold)………as it goes Guyana did owe Trinbago money and use tuh pay we back in rice……….d rice had a slight discoloration and had a funny taste tuh it.  Meh grandmother use tuh feed d dog wit dat rice.  So apparently is dog rice and some kinna dry chicken dey serve we on Tuesday.  Now last year ah was raving bout d jerk chicken we did get.  Dis year we get focking dog food.  ah would bet dat  dey didn’t use d same caterers from last year and was cutting corners tuh maximize profits at d masqueraders account.  Wat yuh pay for is wat yuh get.  We payed for an all-inclusive band and so far all we get is pure shit services.   




Ah sure dat by now allyuh hear dat Incompetent People like Antz…………d only problem was dat d masqueraders didnt like Antz.  I eh want to beat into this too much because d magic of crossing d judging points went away fuh me wit d original big stage.  So it didnt matter tuh me dat dey play dat shit tune when it was clearly not d choice of d masqueraders.  What really sucks is that these DJs dont have a clue how to play music.  They think playing the same 10 tunes over and over and over and over is satisfactory because dey playing fuh a bunch ah drunks wo eh know d wat going on.  Guess again……..allyuh is some clown DJs and people woulda get more variety and enjoyment if dey replace allyuh wit ah Ipod.  If allyuh want a clue on how tuh run tunes check out d DJ Private Ryan mixes dat been circulating d web.  Tunes fuh days and no talking tuh hear yuhself talk.  Allyuh is disgraces tuh d DJ trade.  




$26,150.  I can guarantee you that your band will not see this coming from these dissatisfied masqueraders.  You made promises………set high expectations……..and only delivered Incompetence.  In a few months you will have a new dream to sell but ah refuse tuh let allyuh tief meh head and end up in another nightmare.  Its over.  Three years and done.  You did deliver a decent product last year.  But allyuh standards have gone to d dogs.  Ah still eh believe allyuh sell people t-shirts tuh play mas wit.  Ah still eh believe allyuh serve people dat ole food and still run out ah d ole rice.  Ah still eh believe allyuh hire some corner hustlers tuh work security and couldnt control dem.  Ah do believe allyuh woulda kill we wit HD music………..but allyuh fock up wit dat Antz shit.  Good riddance and good luck next year.  And oh yeah……….its been 3 weeks and no focking apology or acknowledment dat allyuh fock up people Carnival.  Fire Bun Allyuh. 




8 responses

18 03 2009

Well ah hope u do not go back ever, cause like IP have a way that they those fool up they ppl head for the next carnival…we fix this, we fix that, blahblahblah…
I nver play with them, I did had a friend who did and from the first year they come out – she personally got their rough-neck mentality treatment.
From all the reviews I have read it looks like this year was WORST…here’s hoping ppl take a stand next year and hit them where it hurts.
Good luck to the ppl who going back, ah guess if you like that kinna treatment…to hell with evrything.
Imagine not an apology as yet! I hope yuh send them that post!

19 03 2009
Afro Chic

its been 3 weeks and no focking apology or acknowledment dat allyuh fock up people Carnival.

No apology cause CLEARLY dem eh see dat dey do nuttin wrong.

19 03 2009

wheyyyy…i’ve been reading reviews of all the bands, but your review of IP makes it sound like a major horror story.

..and to top it off, no apology from IP Mas. Awful.
But then again IP in general is not known for listening to or apologising to their patrons.

19 03 2009

lorddd!!!!!!!!!! i almost play with them jackass this year!!! thank god i’m a student and too poor to fly far less play mas because i woulda get throw in jail for assualt if my lil saved money end up fattening ip pocket! absolutely unbelieveable!!!!!! the blase disregard for people security is surely negligence!!! these money grubbing asses could face a nice civil suit if anything did happen!

19 03 2009

I made things work for me Monday and Tuesday. It wasnt because IP fulfilled their promises. I look at a review on certain Trini websites and its a shame that they describing a good time that never materialized. There are masqueraders who are accepting mediocrity and those whose judgment were clouded by “drunken fun”. Some may say everything worked out for them so it doesn’t affect dem…….guess what…….their time will come sooner than they think…….1 part of d rotten apple does always spread tuh d rest of it.

20 03 2009

canboulay, i have to agree with you that when ppl reviewing they mas, they make it sound like all the f*&K up they had to endure was okay, and if the band just do this next year everything go be nice blah blah blah. i dont understand what going on with us at all. mas is we thing and is like everybody begging to be a part of some band or the other. if yuh dont like the thing, say so straight the hell out. dont lol up your review and make it sound funny when yuh ass is mad. if yuh is damn vex yuh shud damn well say so. 4000 tt eh no spare change for two days. especially now. so all the tribe and ip and other mas apologists, pay to play and then pay more to make the most of it. it eh no scene cause somebody else already playing ah mas on you.

28 03 2009

Ah couldn’t agree with you more dey nah… IP was real arseness. This was de first year I played with dem, cause I thought Tribe was over-hyped and too stoosh last year and take a chain up from some friends to check IP out. But after this experience, I understand why people rush behind Tribe that actually puts some effort into customer service and satisfaction. I thought the music was good, until we hit any judging area and dey start de ANTZ-arseness, my headpiece fell apart in the rain, de level of grommitness was exceedingly high, and de eating on de road scene was sooo not cute. I know people who go back to them year after year inspite of the nonsense, but dey will certainly never see me or my money again.

30 03 2009

I aint gonna lie, I had to yell at Mr Marlon at the mascamp, pull one of the owner aside to tell him how shitty their organization was this yr. Quick joke, so I trying to get food and the truck moving fast so I decided to talk to security and the driver. Well somebody beat me to de punch. while speaking to security this chick starting cussing the driver(real stink, laventille style) and pelt she two container of food at the driver. Lawd I shame in POS…needless to say my first time with IP was a mess…I enjoyed the vibes on the road to the fullest but the rest could have been better. I dont know who I will playing with next yr(I cant do Tribe,dem people to STOSH!) I said that I couldnt play with tribe but I may endup sucking it up and play with Tribe…but IP make my feet swell up both f ing days and I waste my Fri and Sunday there. Somebody need to cuss them out in person…

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