If Yuh See Canboulay…….Down In Port-ah-Spain……It was only Pace…..And d Fella Finish d Race

8 03 2009

Due to circumstances beyond my control ah was unable to reach d land of oil and music by Friday the 13th.  Why did I want to reach by this blighted date u may ask……..well my flagship fete fuh d C2K9 was suppose to be Misty Ridge.  I have been hearing GREAT things bout this event for the past few years and really wanted to check it out.  I even chained up meh best friend who doh like to go dese All-Inclusives because he convinced it does be full of “boring foreigners”.  Well when he come pick meh up from d airport Saturday night he had a big grin on he face and d Bay Rum bottle  he does sap he head wit was almost empty…………wat dat mean……..d fella say he had a time.  All ah could do is hope to make it next year.  So d plan was 8 days ah feting den mas.  Continue reading at yuh own risk because some tings ah have tuh say not very pleasant.  


Saturday d 14th……….Dem Dotish Drums

I am a believer in hitting d ground hard as soon as yuh land……..take no prisoners……..BUT…..ah shoulda stay home.  This was meh 3rd consecutive year attending and with d exception of being curious d 1st year……..ah been forced to go dis even because ah couldn’t convince meh crew to go elsewhere.   But d good ting bout dis year is dat ah FINALLY get confirmation from dem dat dis is d last.  Rewind to d beginning ah d night.  Now meh best fren have a nice car wit all kinna fancy music in it so come Carnival season dat does park up and we does roll wit a Rental.  But we had a few broken promises and didnt have nuttin when ah landed.  So d week b4 he mention dat we could roll wit he cousin who have d hooptie dat makes hooptie look like a luxury car.  Ah tell him boss me eh wah breakdown no wey travelling in dat fella car.   Long story short 6 ah we end up in dis hooptie and d fella driving like he is Speed Racer.  By d time we reach Cipriani Boulevard we find we smelling smoke……….is because someting burning in d donut tire.  We come out d car opposite marios smelling like burn rubber.  Eventually d car air out and we reach near d stadium and d man worried bout parking under a light because somebody might tief d car…………..STUPES.  Ah go give allyuh d end ah d story later.


So we reach by d stadium and ah REALLY dont want to be dey.  Ah find it rell scanty compared to years past on d outside.  We head to d box office so ah could get ah ticket.  We reach by d 1 entrance and if yuh see d line.  No scene, is meh first Carnival fete and I eh go too negative.  So 25 minutes pass now and we eh move.  Wait……..is riot police ah seeing.  Like 20 police in RIOT gear and a full arsenal ah weapons DEMANDED dat everybody step back and dey organize d line…………chances are if yuh didn’t listen tuh dem yuh woulda end up worse dan Rodney King.  So boom bam……ah private event and police working as ushers and coordinators.  So after 45 minutes order have prevailed and d line start moving.  We on d inside now and from d way tings was outside I say d place was ram out………but it wasn’t.  Just piss poor management at d entrance.  Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah.  D show was shit.  Plain and simple.  It was not a display of Soca.  It was shit.  For the time we was dey we get like  35 minutes of solid pace from the entertainer of past……..and d rest of it was pure shit.  When I reach TnT fuh carnival I doh wah hear no reggae, rap, reggaethon, etc artist singing nuttin but SOCA.  Do all dat inclusion shit during d Summer when people bored.  And when yuh including these foreign acts yuh local acts not getting a bligh………we eh seeing wat d rest ah crew have tuh offer fuh d season…………….STUPES.  What a waste……..but like ah said…….confirmation dat we eh going back was worth d trip. 



Sunday d 15th………Flight Boooooooooooooo


Dis 1 goin to be rell short.  Hear good tings bout dis.  Few weeks b4 ah reach outta d blue meh people call meh from Trini and ask meh if ah wah go and dey go organize d tickets.  Boat was scheduled to leave 3 ah believe but dey had a nice warm up session wit drinks and ting…..ah guess to encourage people to reach early.  Well i had a shipment ah Johnny tuh pick up and reach after 3 and d boat wasn’t in no hurry to leave.  And tuh make matters worse rain look like it about to pour.  People down dey looking to buy ticket………boot looking PACKED……..people who have tickets eh board yet……..and d Captain say d boat reach capacity……………..BUT………if yuh wah get on yuh could go on d roof ah d boat BUT/WHEN  d  rain start falling yuh have tuh stay  on d roof.   Me and meh pardna sell we tickets and ride out.  To find out later from d rest ah d crew who remained dat d boat never leave d dock and dey had a dry-dock boatride.  Well ah guess sumting better dan nuttin when yuh thusty fuh party.  What was bizarre was that initially I tort dey do like BWEE and oversold tickets………once they got on d boat dey say it had planty room on d lower levels……..so ah have to wonder who was keeping ah head count.  Ah iffy but might try again next year.


Monday d 16th…………..PNM (Party was Nice Man)


Ah spend all day Monday like a politician trying tuh convince dem fellas fuh we to go PNM fete……….not dat I support dese crooks…………..but ah in d country 2 days and ah was desperate to get meh 1st taste of a decent fete.  Ah did mke up meh mind ah was going even if it did mean rolling wit meh homegirl who been preaching fuh years dat it is a good fete.  But d rallying was looking good and we had 5 fellas willing tuh roll.  We take a ride down d Avenue drink some scotch and eat ah Pizza.  By d time we reach back up d road 1 coward run out d car talking bout “he have practice in d morning and he go link we in d evening”.  D next 1 start holding he head bout he have to work 6am……..STUPES.  So we down tuh 3……..and so it went.  We get reach down dey like 1230 and get secured parking next to Tranquil ah believe.  No tickets so d only 2 options is d box office and d scalpers.  Guess what?  D scalpers are d box office.  So d move was tuh look fuh ah familiar scalper and buy from he.  We get d tickets fuh admission price which was $100tt.  Enter d place and everything nice.  D Gunta factor was next to zero in dey and everybody was just having a good time.  Scotch in pouch and we get some ice to set up base camp.  We doh roam arrung fetes looking fuh nobody……..we does remain stationary unless circumstances dictate otherwise.  We get there and Roy Cape All-Stars started to perform.  Hell of a performance.  Blaxx mash up and eh bump he gums bout d usuall nonsense.  He energy level was great.  D odder 2 all-stars need tuh wheel and come again fuh next year……..what a let down from 2008.  The other main act was the band of the Season……………Asylum.  Dey Mash-Up d place.  Only issue I have wit d performance was Bunji trying tuh justify dat dotish Banana tune which have no business being sang……….talk done.   There were some other acts their that night………but ah cah remember because……..d scotch.  But it was really worth going and yuh cah beat $100tt.  



Tuesday d 17th……….Ah Lime With Out Limits Had Meh Eyes Wide Shut


Live hard or die bored.  D opportunity was there to go 2 good fetes and it had to be exploited.   AWOL changed dey location from the past few years to West Palm Hotel Poolside.  Ah shame tuh say in all d years ah live Trinidad and even returning home ah never know past Mobs2 was so developed.  It was rell nice spot fuh d fete.  So we get dey and ah was hungry so head straight fuh d food.  Now last year ah did eat some pelau dat ah was convinced had crack in it because it was rell boss.  Dis year dat stew chicken combo was not good.  I doh eat curry on d road so ah cah comment on d roti.  Belly full time tuh drink.  Ah seeing d Johnny Green tent but nobody behind d counter serving.  So now ah vex and ah bad talking dem.  Ah force mehself tuh drink d black and ah telling meh pardnas dem I come here fuh Green and dey tiefing meh head wit d tent…….I eh coming back.  Wais dat ah seeing……….after d rain comes d sunshine…….d Johnny Green tent is in full operation and I have set up base camp within an arms length of d bartender.  Let d good times roll.  I drink Green till I probably was looking like d Incredible Hulk.  Music was nice.  Everybody in dey Sunday best although is Tuesday.  But like last year ah still feel it have a local vibe dat dis fete lacking.  I does get a bit agitated when I almost everybody I would see p in Foreign in Trini at d same fete as me.  Ah know……ah being selfish and unrealistic……….but sprinkle ah few locals in dey nah.   D vibe might shake up a bit.  By d time ah leave a bit after ten d alcohol and music hd everybody in full swing.  Dis fete have so much more potential.  We go see how d breeze blow next year.

Allyuh tink ah done.  Nah is a doble shift ah working.  Ah grab a sanwich from AWOL and jump in meh pardna car……….we heading th d Oval fuh Eyes Wide Shut.  In d words of Benjai and ah hope is alcohol and not weed he was talking bout……..ah was fried.  But d great ting bout Carnival is dat adrenaline and will power will carry yuh fuh days without sleep.  Bad news is dat all ah could tell allyuh bout d fete was dat it was good………ah cah rate it too hight because……..ah was fried……..and memory cant go back for specifics.  There was the headliners of Asylum, HD Family and Destra.  Asylum and Destra were outstanding………..HD and he “Family” were disgusting.  I doh come Trinidad tuh hear no focking Busy Signal and watch no video ah he and Kernel wit dey overized melons dressed as red ants.  If memory serve me right I believe Roy Cape All Stars performed also.  But dat whole HD set was shit like AC7.  Is time fuh dat fella tuh remember it have ah time and place fuh everything…………because its called Carnival it doh mean everything goes………keep dem foreign acts fuh a summer concert.  Anyhow…….EWS was incident free and it was a good time overall.




Wednesday d 18th…….We was Eeen d Mas 

D original plan was to his another day fete (S.O.S) and den head Eeen d Mas.  But once again soldiers fall out of d race.  So it end up just being d night fete.  Traditionally we does head down to Bachannal Wednesday…………but the opportunity not to drive down in west in all dat traffic was 1 we had to take advantage of……….especially since it was going to be just about d same performers.   And dat BW crowd kinna dead, so we was grateful fuh dis new option.  Now d fellas advertising dis fete are called Zuki and Tim Tim (2 cartoon like characters in Trinbago) and d ad was very funny and catchy.  Dey was using d intro to dat Busy Signal tune and babbling some stuff bout jumping d stadium wall.  Ah wish ah could find ah clip for those who didnt hear it.  Same line up like d night b4 and it feeling like deja vu.  No specifics other than d Roadmarch race getting hot because now artist pelting words fuh each other on stage.  Nuttin worth mentioning because who I believe was tuh win everything dun win and deliver.   But back on task…..dis fete was nice and yuh cah beat d convenience.  Gunta factor wasnt a big issue.  Its worth going again.



Thursday d 19th………..Splashing @ Bowen Marine w/ UWI  

Deja vu…..groundhog day.  After 5 days ah feting dis is what it is.  The fete scene fuh Carnival has evolved into a routine consisting of d same artist line-up and d artist running d same skits.  I eh mean to divert from d fete review but dats how ah felt while dey.  Back tuhmehselfnow.  Allyuh believe rain falling.  And generally ah doh mind a rain eh……..but dis was a February rain and not ah after d hot sun rain.   Wah ah go do…….ah stay in d rain and enjoy d vibes.  Rain stop……..performers come on and did their usual routine.  Overall d fete was full of vibes as usual.  



Friday d 20th……….Power of d Girls

Ah been meaning to check dis fete out for the past 3 years but was unable to get anybody to roll wit meh.  So we decide we was goin tuh give it ah try dis year.  Went down by d IP box office Monday and buy 4 general admission tix @ $350 or $375  each ah tink………….VIP was going fuh like $600 but were SOLD OUT.  At dat price dem fellas wasn’t going to go VIP anyway……although in included drinks.  Now dis fete is d biggest tief head I ever encounter.  First ting was d layout.  Earlier in d week at EWS @ d Oval General Admission was facing d stage and VIP with ah obscured vision ah d stage was tuh d right.  Now for GP it was reversed.  No big deal since yuh paying VIP money yuh should be getting d best.  But this is d ting dat relly frigg meh head up………in ALL d fetes ah ever attend I eh never see VIP MASH-UP ah fete from start to finish.  I still in shock.  And d ting is General wasnt really saying boo.  Total role reversal.  D highlight ah d fete for me was when dey announce Fayanne sweep d Monarchs………..and once dey drop Heavy T Bumper d crowd went wild as usual.  Overall GP gets a thumbs up from me………….but in order to stay within meh  principled self imposed budget………$600 nah go work.  Oh ah almost fuhget……..2 soldiers fall out d race once again and ah had tuh play scalper fuh a good hour outside GP……….when it eh have a Box Office outside an event it RELL hard to offload tickets.  But it worked out in d end.


Saturday d 21st……….We going Till Dawn

Old habits r hard to break…….but 3+ hours of traffic to go a few miles makes it much easier.  Dis makes it 2 years  of no Insomnia.  Ah went Sunny Side down last year and wasn’t impressed…….d prospect of no Johnny Walker dis year made it a defite no.  D odder option was D Vale…..but ah cah get no tickets fuh dat.  So Jenny’s Car Park here we come.  We get dey about 1:30ish and line long but flowing nice.  Flasks full ah Johnny and as we reach eeen d ice done buy.  We set up camp midway tuh d stage and right next tuh 2 water trucks…….remember dese trucks eh.  As we settling in Kes and Nadia just finishing up.  Iwer reach do he ting but it wasnt d best performance ah see from him.  D highlight of he performance was making a statement dat Machel need to apologize to Shurwayne.  Den Shurwayne and YOU come on………rell solid performance.  A bit too much Groovy and Reggae but solid performance overall.  Now what happens next is the main reason ah giving Dawn ah rest next year.  Dey say it called Dawn….not Wet Fete.  D idiots who was handling d hose on d trucks decided dat EVERYBODY should get wet.  Most fetes like dis people does be running towards d water and it does ALWAYS have designated dry areas.  Not so at Dawn.  But lewwe move past dat now.  Dis 1 security woman saw it fit to tell 1 ah d fellas wit d dogs to stand in an area populated by people trying to stay dry.  She purpose fuh doing dis wasn’t because dese people were some sort of security issue at d fete…….but she just feel dey shouldnt stand in dat area.  Well after d Tsunami Bunji and Asylum came on.  Once dey say Fayanne wasnt going to appear me and meh woman decided to go grab someting tuh eat and wait ind  car fuh meh pardna and dem.  BTW d rastaman in front ah 51 Degrees have some rell good burgers.  So we eat and waiting in d car and it does be a hell of a ting tuh see d after party crowd after ah party…..some real focking characters.  Now I dey waiting in d car and meh 2 pardnas heading towards we.  Now is so long I eh see wildness dat ah fuhget how tuh scope it out.  Yuh believe dis man walk wit ah pail ah water and soak meh down in d car.  All ah could do was laugh.  Ah fitting end tuh Daw……Wet Fete.



Sunday d 22nd………..

Had plans to go either Moka or Valsayn fuh 1 ah dem day ting……..but IP did not put meh woman accessories wit d costume when ah did pick it up on Friday d 13th……VERY APPROPRIATE DAY…….but we go revisit dat in a few days.  So on dis day no fete……..quick Maracas run……check family……..IP pick-up……..and Jouvert Registration.  




D fete scene is getting boring.  It so boring dat I doh even feel ah need to be in TnT til Carnival weekend just in time fuh Jouvert and Mas.  There needs to be more variety in artist line-up and the artists need to stop repeating the same performances night after night.  There was a magical feeling that you would get as soon as you enter ah venue during the Carnival feel that have disappeared…….at least for me.  I think we are getting watered down performances when an artist is performing at 100 different venues in 1 night and den showing up at your fete hoarse and tired.  I want focking quality.  Not dat rushed bullshit.  As far as fete prices concerned……..I still think some ah dem ting too expensive.  Ah did predict dat certain fetes was going tuh buss dis season but ah guess ah was better off predicting snow in Trinbago.  D season wasn’t bad tuh me and meh crew……..but hoping 2010 go be better…….although dis economic crisis might be hitting we harder by den.  






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