Sally what? The Salybia Fete review!!

23 02 2008

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Can somebody please build a highway to the Northeast corner of Trinidad.  I’ve had an easier time getting through rush hour traffic in Manhattan than getting to Salybia on Carnival Thursday f0r this all inclusive I spoke so highly of in 2007.  So after a 2 hour drive, through small one road towns, over dirt and gravel roads through bush…we reach the Eastern Coast of Trinidad, about 2o kilometers south of Toco. 

 Well, its a new year, and once again..I didn’t get as pissy drunk in 08 as I did in 07 so I was able to observe and take in the vibes with a little more clarity.  I think part of my soberness had to do with the fact that Patrone did not have a booth this year.  I was looking forward to alternating the silver and gold over and over again.  As soon as I walked in..I went straight to where Patrone was the previous year.  Low and behold, there was no Patrone.  Camboulay is a scotch drinker so he went looking fuh d Johnny booth………ahoy…..there is no Johnny booth.  And to make matters worse the highest rank ah Johnny dey have is black.  So why did I pay $700tt again?  As disturbing as the drink situation was it was too early in d game to call d fete a wash……. its not the end of the world.  They did have Remy, and these Carib girls were easy on the eyes.

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Let we go get something to eat.

An hour later……. still in line.  Food lines were ridiculously long and when yuh finally reach dem people serving, yuh have to beg dem to put an extra spood of sumptin on yuh plate. My people were in a line opposite me heading in another direction. 2 hours later, they still had not eaten. I get to the food and of course, people who did NOT spend the hour in line are asking me to fix them a plate. I look at them like they have 3 heads.  I hate to be an asshole about this but allyuh get behind me..I just stood in this damn line for an hour. I ent fixin sh!t. 

The fete was OK this year.  Vibes were still nice but not on the level of 2007. It rained (and Machel wasn’t even there!), the music died for a good half hour or so as we all limed in silence or to the riddem section on the lower level. 

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Imij and Co performed.  They are the ultimate “filler” band…notorious for singing everyone elses tune. 

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I think Roy Cape Allstars performed as well  if my memory served me properly.  You know the Allstars were everywhere this year.  In 07, Allison Hines and her band, as well as Traffik performed so the entertainment was definitely down a level this year.   1 thing I must say bout this fete……dey say Army fete is d safest fete in Trinidad (I doh truss dem prima donna soldiers wit machine guns in dey hand)……I say dis fete was d safest in Trinidad.  I honestly never felt so safe in a fete and did not feel the need to b concerned bout anybody “marking” meh fuh later or dat ah had to control meh drinking.  Oh b4 ah forget………. best decision was to hire dat maxi……well except fuh d asshole chick who decided to leave on here own without telling we and had we looking fuh she……….but we wasnt leaving anyways because the traffic/parking management was piss poor.  Now ah always hear people talk bout “Salibya have too much ole people”……guess wat……I doh mind d geriatrics………even doh ah tink ah see Jean and Dinah dey………remember folks…….ah good wukking ole ting is better dan a young ting.  D ole people does behave demselves and only dey to enjoy demselves.  Also realize at d end of d nite I eh see 1 ole person vomiting or passed out in d grass.

In a nutshell…..this fete was way oversold like a bwee flight from Kennedy d week b4 Carnival.  Maybe in years past this was a great fete………but from wat ah hear somebody in d organization might of also pulled a fast 1.  D word I heard was dat there was somebody selling wrist bands for $500.  Which might explain some of d well dressed Guntas ah see lurking about d place.  Maybe next year it might be a better fete if d promoters pay attention………but I  eh planning to return.  D experience was an experience and nuttin more.  Dere was absolutely nuttin special bout dis fete.  Too much people, no quick access to food and regular drinks.  Entertainment was blah.  I doh care dat it rained, I doh care dat it had iron and swanky ole people and I doh care it was up in d bush.  I do care dat fuh d money I payed I was not fed like a bloated pig, I was not given access to premium drinks and ah had to listen to 1 high tier band perform. 

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