The Evolution Mess, excuse me “Mas”

 Let me preface this by saying……What the Hell was I thinking by playing mas with a first year band!!!!  Just how did I stumble across Evolution and make this piss poor decision.  Well, I am a man. I don’t care about my own costume (and judging from the quality of my costume, it was a good thing that I didn’t). The price of the mas was “relatively” cheap.  The women costumes look skimpy so there would be plenty bamcee on the road. Canadian women are gorgeous since this band is allegedly tied into Carnival Nations mas band out of Toronto it must be loaded with Canadians.  I had issues with IP the year before after waiting 5 hours to get my costume so I was determined to go elsewhere.  So that was the basis of my decision to give these people my money.  Big mistake!

So, let me begin. 

Many of the sections for Evolution were not ready by Carnival Saturday.  In the normal world, distribution begins on “Monday” but apparently not for these guys.  I arrived in T&T Tuesday night and went up to the Mas Camp Wednesday.  I thought to myself….this is strange, they aren’t distributing any costumes!!.  Right then and there, I should have asked for a refund!  but there was a woman with a gorgeous body right infront of me that was registering and I thought to myself “I need to see that on the road”.  So what if she had a gold tooth.  By my 4th Johnny Walker, it wouldn’t have mattered anyway.  So I stayed, thats what I get for letting my penis make a business decision.  Anyway, I ask, when can I pick up my costume.  I was told, on Friday.  Well, I knew that wouldn’t happen since I had plans to go to Break Biche so Evolution will have to see me Saturday. 

So Saturday, we get there around 11AM. My section not ready…they tell me after 3PM.  But it was supposed to be ready “yesterday”?, it don’t matter, Im a patient man. We go eat, drink some, went to register for Yellow Devils, lime at Crobar because there were 20 Carib Girls there and they were gorgeous.  So what if I’m old enough to be their father, I didn’t care.  Anyway…We go back to Evolution   and..still no costumes.  But this time, we will wait since a crowd began to form outside.  While waiting, I went to the bar below the mas camp to buy another round of Stag for me and my bredrin.  Low and behold, they are still making costumes right there in the Bar. Mind you..its 4PM carnival Saturday!  I just chuckle b/c already in my mind…I’ll be spending most of my time with IP on Monday and Tuesday anyway.  I go back outside and stand amongst the crowd of angry women (angry chicks turn me on). I think we made it through 6 rounds of beer while standing in line. 

Eventually, several people approach with boxes.  My section finally arrived….and its around 5pm.  They let us in, we grab our shit and go.  I picked up my homegirls costume too b/c she had to leave.  As expected, it was incomplete,  but I didn’t check it while I was there because I had to pee. (6 Stags will do that to you).  She was mad at me.  She actually wrote down what was suppose to be in the boxes but I didn’t read it.  Beer and angry women are a huge distraction to me.  People shouldn’t give me assignments when I have other things on my mind.

Anyway, I get back to the guest house just to see exactly what I spent the entire day waiting for.  Hmmm…purple shorts…OK. I guess that qualifies as Rasberry (my section was called Rasberry Ice)…I thought it would have been a maroon/burgundy but I wasn’t complaining.  I look in some plastic bags which I guess was suppose to be the infamous “goodie bag”. Here is the list of items I received.

• Deodorant

No really…that was it.  along with a 2007 map of Port of Spain, and a “Scorch” Magazine.  They didn’t even give me a fukkin condom!!  who gets a goodie bag without condoms!!!  A Rambo Watch would have been cool, so I would know where IP would be at all times.  OK…thats fine. once again, I don’t play mas fuh goodie bag or costume.  Its a good thing I have this laid back attitude or else I would not have survived.

Carnival Monday arrive.  We get a drop as close as possible, walk up to Arapita Ave and what band is crossing infront of Evolution Mas Camp but ISLAND PEOPLE.  Talk about a dagger in your heart. So here it is..thousands upon thousands of bamcees in hot pants, people in their Monday wear (which was apparently a commodity at with Evolution since only 2 sections appeared to have Monday wear).  I stand up on a wall and begin to take pictures of IP.  My sister and her friends  playing with IP walk by, I stop and talk to them.  Then more friends come by.  Showing off their hats, T-shirts, Bags…blah, blah, blah.  About 45 minutes later…IP is gone and Evolution is ready to pull out with their 3 music trucks and poor excuse for drink trucks.

 this was an IP Drink Truck

this was an Evolution Drink Truck

Allyuh know I take my drinking seriously so I feel cheated especially since they didn’t have the decency to provide me with not 1 condom in my goodie bag!  OK..moving on…Since 80% of the band did not have Monday wear, it was kinda hard to tell, who was in the band. I got bored rhell quick. Maybe it had something to do with IP crossing my path and my desire to run behind the 6,000+ women I layed my eyes on that morning. Needless to say, I left Evolution right after lunch and was up in IP rest of the day.  Before I left, I did take some pics though.

Admitedly, Carnival Tuesday with Evolution was rhell nice.  I didn’t come across one stoosh woman. They were out to get on, dutty and stink on de road.  I hit the drink trucks…often..and proceed to play mas with the band I paid $1,995 TT for a purple shorts and a stick of deodorant (but no Condom). The sections look nice and the ladies looked even better.

 

Now let me back up a bit.  There were rumors from 2 different personal sources that Evolution was going to have alot of Bullas. This didn’t bother me b/c I’ve played mas in 5 different bands in the past 5 years.  They are everywhere, in every band, you can’t avoid them.  But the individuals telling me this made it sound like it will be in epidemic proportions. No scene, more women for me right?  Well, Carnival Tuesday roll around and there are barely any men in the band.  For a band with every male section to be sold out, I can only think they made 10 male costumes per section and the few fellas we see look straight.  That could only mean 1 thing!  Some of these women must be men!!.  So I gave myself a personal rule.  I wasn’t wining on anything over 5’2″ unless I personally knew them and that wasn’t many.  Needless to say, I was a bit on edge all day and I snapped about 200 photos in Evolution carnival Tuesday.  Since I was a bit enubriated, my judgement was a bit blurred and I didn’t quite know what I was taking pictures of all the time.  I see a group pose, I snap a pic and keep it moving.  Well, upon further review..I come across this trio among the many pictures I took.

Now, I’m not saying they are men….and I’m not saying they aren’t.  Honestly I don’t have a clue but this section of Evolution was in the back of the band.  Needless to say, I didn’t spend much time in the back of the band.  Now, I don’t want anyone going off saying this was the Gay band because it definitely wasn’t. Just look in your own band if you played mas this year. I’m sure there were more in yours than in Evolution.

Like the popular bands…Evolution had the plenty pretty faces:

 Beautiful Big Breasted Women

 

Sexy Exotic women

Rhell Nice Bamcees

 They were friendly and playful

 

and of course….there were some complete Tragedies

But not many….thank god.

Somewhere along the lines I learned some details of Evolutions dysfunction.  “Sabotage”.  Materials were not delivered or purchased to make costumes till the week of carnival. I was given a name responsible for sabotaging the band but I will refrain from calling that name as this is only hearsay and I know what libel and slander is..  Curtis Eustace on the other hand, I can call you out since this is your baby.  You need to run a tighter ship…which is an understatement.  Your management of this organization is bullSh!t and you failed your masqueraders and staff miserably.  I’m not buying that first year band garbage either. You run the biggest band during Caribana.  You are experienced and know the routine. Surely, you can manage a 1000 person band (if that much) in T&T.  Evolution will not see me again…and god forbid anyone ask me…”what do you think of Evolution”?  I’ll just say, “they couldn’t even put a condom in my goodie bag”.

Midnite Robber!!