End Alcohol Abuse NOW!

18 11 2007

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Alcohol abuse is……

Spilling your drink!!!   No good cup of Rum or Whiskey deserves to be mistreated by getting spilled.  I have observed many individuals, failing to exercise proper care of their drinks, often spilling it on fellow masqueraders, themselves, innocent bystanders and spectators.  Once, I  witnessed a fella pelt a good bottle of Stag at a stray dog.  I’m thinking to myself, “W.T.F. is he doing??? that’s a good bottle of beer!  Since I’m also part Rum-Chaser, I was ready to call security on this fella for abusing his drink, till someone pointed out that pelting a full bottle of Stag isn’t necessarily a crime.

So that being said, I am starting a crusade to raise public awareness against what I feel is a serious social issue. “Alcohol Abuse“!!, and I don’t mean mean drinking so much that you lose all sense of self, show your a$$ publicly, kick the family dog kind and pelt the cat out the window kind of alcohol abuse.  I’m talking about DRINK SPILLAGE!!, wasting perfectly good drinks!!!!  

Just because yuh band or the fetes you attend are all inclusive and Courvoisier, Patrone and Hennesy is in abundance.  It still does not grant the right to spill even 1 ounce anyplace other than in your mouth.  Professional drinkers know this, and will often display  a penchant for multi-tasking with their drinks.  Just look at this fella balance a 1/5th of Grey Goose and Wine! although this is a high risk manuever, this man penchant for keeping a bottle upright.  Amateurs please do not try this at home.

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So it doesn’t matter if woman in front, back, or left and right, you drink should stay in hand, tanqueray stays in cup. No amount of women, foam falling from above or the hottest soca tunes will result in drink spillage. 

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Some carnival regulars will choose to bring their own drinking apparatus. This is a brilliant concept because it virtually eliminates the possibility of spillage and increases the drink quantity in hand and as a result it reduces trips your trips to the bar. Be it a flask, canteen or a bota, any method of protecting your liquor is acceptable behavior for masqueraders. 

Leather Pouch   <—Bota  A.K.A  Rum Pouch

Wining Kriminals are such believers in this practice, we once again will prove our resourcefulness by providing the following links, so that you can obtain one of these so called “drink containers” for the road. 

Wine Botas

Canteens

Drink Sport Bags 

 For those of you that do not imbibe in alcohol or are not “heavy drinkers”, we want to make you aware some of the therapeutic benefits to increasing your alcohol consumption on the road.  This list of benefits include, but are not limited to:

Making your fellow masqueraders look more appealing.
•       Ladies, worried bout that pooch that slops over your panty or your tiger striped stretch marks?  Fellas, afraid that big bamcee girl in  Genesis  won’t feel your unibrow or the fact your missing your 2 front teeth? No scene!, with enough sips of Seagrams Gin, Belvedere or Absolute. You won’t give a fukk!!! and neither will the drunk person looking at you.

Alcohol is a Pain Killer and Performance Enhancer.
•       Think about it, is it really normal for a human to wine and jump to fast paced Soca music for 12, 13, 14 straight hours on a hard pavement?  99% of Masqueraders people don’t do this any other time of the year!  It doesn’t take 12 hours to finish the NYC marathon and those people train for months to complete that event. Yet, masqueraders will keep going like energizer bunnies. So just how do these people manage to line up at 8AM and go till 8,9,10 PM or later and not feel pain in their feet, knees and back??  It’s the Old Oak, Wray & Nephew, Fernandez and others!!

Alcohol is a confidence Booster and increases the entertainment factor for everyone around you
•       The downside to having a boosted confidence is the lack of good judgement, but this often proves to be entertaining for everyone else.   So when you witness that 150 lb man, approach a 320lb mampee on the road and attempt to lift her off the ground for a wine, you can thank Jack Daniels or Crown Royal, for this Mastercard Priceless Moment.  Of course, you should only do so after you peel his corpse off the pavement and you throw his a$$ on the truck for the rest of the Carnival.  This will be a memory you and the other witnesses will treasure for a lifetime.

The list doesn’t stop here but this entry will never end if I continue with other benefits of alcohol. 

So when you land in the islands, make sure you spend quality time with the likes of Johnny Walker, Jack Daniels, Jose Cuervo, Ron Bacardi, Remy Martin and others.  They are your friends and want you to have a good time.

Lastly, remember to take good care of your libations.  Protecting your drinks is key. Savor every last drop. Love your drink, become one with your drink. Drinks are your friends.

Lets put an End Alcohol Abuse
No Drink’s Spilled in 2k8!!

 MidnightRobber!

Coming Soon –

What a Man Really NEEDS in a Goodie Bag

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9 responses

19 11 2007
DTriniInMe

LOL 🙂

20 11 2007
shells

love it…

20 11 2007
Lulu

Totally in agreement! Thanx for educating the public!

21 11 2007
saucy diva

But how allyuh leave out Old Oak and Royal Oak and White Oak rum for the serious rum drinkers? Oh and is “wine” not “whine” that H is for the foreigners 😉 *wine*

21 11 2007
Robber Talk

But Saucy, Old Oak in there…read again..right before Wray&Nephew. 😉 and we expect plenty foreigners to read this and “wine” in an article about drinks might confuse dem..

21 11 2007
Canboulay

Scotch (johnny, johnnny and more johnny) is my drink of choice and den rum. 1 mix I would like to add is Black and White wit coconut water…………..nice and smooth wit a gook kick

26 11 2007
buublenut

Throwing up the rum and beer – who get wet, well we don’t care – Start the jumping yeh, start the waving yeh!!!

10 12 2007
Alcoholics Information

I am not in favor of wasting things, spilling alcohol is not nearly as “bad” as drinking too much alcohol. Alcohol abuse in the usual sense helps no one and destroys people.

13 12 2007
Kaiserball

I been witness to a man breaking up a fight between two women in costume fighting over their frontline headpiece hooking up together…pushing away the brawling drunk boyfriend…trip over a standard and get up to wine…and not spill ONE DROP OF HIS DRINK IN AN OPEN CUP!!!
say no to alcohol abuse!!

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