“Ladies, Stop Faggotizing these Men!!”

  Yes, thats right..we made up a word!!!

Faggotize (fah gaw ty ize) Transitive Verb -tized’, tiz’ing. From the British Slang Root Faggot. 1. The process in which a woman influences their male counterparts to believing that female grooming and accessorizing will also help their sex appeal. 2. Also known as a “bulla” in West Indies. Unfortunately, Bullatize didn’t sound as catchy as Faggotize so that is the term we are going with.

So you ladies that have the power of influence over your male friends, significant others or husbands, please don’t steer him down the wrong pathway.  Some of us don’t know any better and will fall victim to bad advice. So if you not sure of what bad advice to your man is, here is the litmus test.

  If you do it or have it to look good, Then your man shouldn’t do it or have it to look good. 
 
For starters, your man should not be wearing tight hot pants, boy shorts, spandex or bicycle shorts. (See Manlaw #4). The curves of a woman’s hips, ass, thighs are a thing of beauty and should be displayed and presented in the previously mentioned articles of clothing (in addition to thongs, g-strings or even less).  But, why would you encourage any man to do this?

Now that we have your attention, keep these in mind as well.

If you wax or pluck your eyebrows…your man should NOT wax or pluck his eyebrows. 

If you wax and shave yuh body…doh make yuh man wax and shave his entire body.  Unless he entering a Mr. Universe competition, a world class swimmer, a porn star, or looks like a fukkin gorilla….then he will get a hall pass.

Earrings are acceptable. The old school concept for man and earrings is this: left ear-straight, right ear-bulla, both ears-switch hitter. But we give the fellas with earrings in both ears the benefit of the doubt and will assume they just want to flash their jewelry and since earrings come in pairs, might as well wear both.  BUT, only 1 piercing per ear is acceptable.  If yuh have 2 in each ear…..well, …..juss be honest with yuh woman.

Ladies! nipple, tongue and naval rings sexy as hell on you!!  but this is unacceptable for any man (see manlaw #2).  A great philosopher named Chris Rock once said “if a girl has her tongue pierced,.. she’ll probably suck your d!ck, If a guy has his tongue pierced,… he’ll probably suck your dick” (“No Sex in the Champagne Room”, 1999).  So if you are encouraging him or have encouraged him to pierce these body parts, please stop. If he has done this without you’re encouragement…..then…well, you might want to revaluate your relationship.

Other unacceptable practices for any man include: make-up, dying their hair color, perms, thongs, color contacts and fancy boots for the road.  So ladies….stop treating these poor clueless men like they yuh girlfriends…..and fellas….Man the Fukk up!!! 

 –Midnight Robber