World Premier: Carnival Man Laws

15 10 2007

Ladies, Gentlemen and Others,

                                                              It is long overdue, but now it is finally here.  Rules and reglations for men who participate in any Carnival to follow.  The founding skylarkers of these laws have numerous Carnival notches on their belts and have decided to unleash their knowledge to the lost and confused men who participate in Carnival, or would like to be part of this festive event.  These laws are cross-cultural and can be utilized by the fairer sex if they decide to step out of that tunnel vision known as “Carnival Bazoodeeness”.  “Carnival Bazodeeness” as defined by Whining Kriminals is the state where females lose their sense of self.  All priorities get shoved to the side and they eat, breath and sleep Carnival preparation.  Its all about being a side, front, back and middle line hoe.  This phenemon will be explored at a later date.  Without further delay, we present to you Carnival Man Laws:

  

  • Thou shall ALWAYS have Soca in Yuh Veins…..Soca in Yuh Blood.
  • Thou shalt NOT brandish naval, tongue or nipple rings in public.
  • Thou shall ALWAYS take a wine on Dat….if D Bumper Phat
  • Thou shalt NOT wear Spandex, Bicycle Shorts or Boyshorts.
  • Thou shalt NOT play in same section as wife or girlfriend.
  • Thou shalt NOT consume anything less than 40% alcohol by volume unless its beer andALWAYS have a FULLY loaded Bar.
  • Thou shall ALWAYS fete till sunrise.
  • Thou shalt NOT get bamboozled by the Carnival hype like a female, stay level.
  • Thou shalt NOT attempt to wukkup/whine on a Thick Sauce by thy self.
  • Thou shalt NOT play mas and participate in Carnival for any other reason but for the love of WOMEN, SOCA and RUM.
  • Thou shall ALWAYS acknowledge a Swanky ting wit a soot.

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8 responses

15 10 2007
Carnival Diva

steups…lmfao..ooh thou shall not wear spandex and shorts! to hell with that!~ i say men who have deh bodies should be just as NAKED as the MAJORITY OF WOMEN on deh road!!! Praytell, what are “boyshorts” in the male psyche? I didn’t know all yuh men have such ah thing!? lol

16 10 2007
AgentJackBauer

Its refreshing and welcoming to see a site made for real men who participate in Carnival………ah hope allyuh fellas blase all dem woman and bullers who come in here talking tutu……..I wah see pics of women carrying a heavy load…….music reviews and info on good limin spots. As for d Diva lady who posted…….boyshorts are jockey shorts that women wear…….not meant to be bamsey squeezers for men

16 10 2007
Dancer

I give this blog about one month tops…good luck guys..LOL

17 10 2007
GoldnHoney

I agree with Carnival Diva….

18 10 2007
saroxy

Finally!!!!!!!!! I hear some sounds of a real man! I agree I dont want no soft man wining pon me down de road. I was starting to get worried when I saw bands (Tribe) advertising frontline costumes for men, and every time I look at pics from Trini fetes they are always showing some metrosexual types. If a man needs to spend as much prep time and is all in the mirror like me before he hit the road, then I worried. Listen good men – all you need is a pair of board shorts, a flask, and the ability to hold on to de bumper! TnT Forever!!!!!!!!!!!!

18 10 2007
Canboulay

Thank u all for your comments. We welcome all to share their thoughts and feel free to ask questions. But if yuh cah take it doh give it. Dont be scared we does only bite, not chew.

30 10 2007
whovexloss

Carnival Man Laws..About Time To See Something Worthy Of Meh On The World Wide Web..If Moses Wasn’t In Such A Rush, I Sure He Woulda Write These Laws On The Back Of The 10 Commandments..

Good Job Wining Kriminals

14 11 2007
shells

welcome, welcome…great blog entries so far.
and if the man can sport it (speedos, bike shorts), then i say why can’t he wear it?!!! i draw the line at things for men though.

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